The avoidant attachment style grows in children due to a caregiver (often the mother) who is emotionally unavailable and non-attuned to the child’s needs. Over time they suppress their natural desire to be comforted even when they are ill. These …
Category: Psychotherapy
The Purpose of Self Criticism
The antidote to self-criticism is self-compassion. We can learn self-compassion. The outstanding researcher Dr Kristin Neff @neffselfcompassion has broken down self-compassion and has a suite of excellent tools to help increase our self-compassion quota. Compassion and Acceptance is also Module …
Understanding an Anxiously Attached Partner
Remember that for the anxiously attached person, SAFETY is critical. So, things like checking out other men in his presence will make him feel unsafe and act out. They are also prone to jealousy because of a deep feeling of …
Healing Anxious Attachment
When your abandonment wound is triggered, it will take great courage and strength to change your automatic behaviour to go into fear and worst-case scenario, but it CAN be done, over time, with love and practice. You can learn to …
Foundation for Disorganised Attachment
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver (often the mother). They seem disoriented and confused. This is likely the result of erratic …
Dealing With Self-Criticism
I remember when I first heard about the concept of self-love. It was totally foreign. What did it mean to love yourself? I had only ever been taught that it was good to love others, to be kind to others. …
Foundation for Avoidant Attachment
Attachment behaviours are the response of children to their primary caregiver (often the mother). With the amount of rapid brain growth occurring throughout childhood, the brain is literally being wired for relationships. With the avoidant attachment style, the mother is …
Foundation for Ambivalent (Anxious) Attachment
All attachment styles are the child’s response to the mother’s behaviour (or primary caregiver). The child’s brain is being wired in specific directions regarding intimate relationships, based on the primary relationship; with the mother. There can be a few reasons …
Therapist Go to Therapy Too
I went to see my therapist yesterday to do some work around the birth of my two children. They are now 10 and 12 years old, but I still feel a queasiness in my stomach when I think about my …
Environment for Secure Attachment
If you are in one of the insecurely attached groups, know that we can all learn to become more secure if we choose. It takes a lot of courage, but it can be done! Drop me a comment …