Have you ever reacted to something and afterwards thought, “Why did I act like that?” You knew your reaction didn’t fit the situation, but in the moment it felt completely real. We often call this “being irrational.” But that’s rarely …
Category: Psychotherapy
5 Signs You’re Responding From an Old Wound, Not Your Adult Self
One of the clearest signs you’re responding from an old wound is that your reaction doesn’t seem to fit the situation in front of you. You might know you’re safe, but your body doesn’t. Your heart races, your chest tightens, …
When You’re Triggered, You’re Not Responding From Your Adult Self
One of the most important things to understand about trauma is that when we’re triggered, we’re often not responding from our adult self. We’re responding from the age the wound was created. A disagreement with your partner might suddenly feel …
How Confidence Is Really Built
Your brain doesn’t learn that you’re capable because you tell yourself you are. It learns because you do hard things, survive them, and slowly begin to trust yourself. That’s how confidence is built. Confidence isn’t something you think your way …
The Biggest Mistake People Make in Healing
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in healing is trying to get rid of the parts of themselves they don’t like. The anxious part, the angry part, the avoidant part, the people-pleaser, the perfectionist. I get it …
Memory Reconsolidation: Why Your Brain Can Still Heal
One of the most exciting discoveries in neuroscience is something called memory reconsolidation. For years, scientists believed that once an emotional memory was formed, it couldn’t be changed. We now know that’s not true. When an old emotional memory is …
Worrying Is the Worst Way to Use Your Imagination
Today someone said, “Worrying is the worst way to use your imagination,” and that’s easily the best thing I’ve heard all week. Like most people, I have a part that worries. Worries about my kids, my work, the world… Sometimes …
Your Youngest Wounds Don’t Have Words: Understanding Preverbal Parts
Your youngest wounds don’t have words. If something inside you feels overwhelmed… panicked… or desperately alone… it may not be your adult self reacting. Some of our deepest emotional wounds formed before we had language. Before we could explain what …
You Don’t Have to Remember What Happened to Heal
One of the biggest myths about healing is that you have to remember what happened. You don’t. Some of our deepest wounds were formed before we had language. Before we could tell a story or make sense of our experiences. …
The Angry Teenager: One of the Most Misunderstood Parts in Therapy
One of the most common parts I meet in therapy is the angry teenager. And often, people can’t stand that part and feel ashamed of it. They tell me: “I don’t like this part.”“It’s mean.”“It’s reactive.”“It’s not who I want …