You might recognise yourself in one of these: Feeling anxious, needing reassurance, and getting activated easily. Overthinking, feeling easily triggered or rejected. Or pulling away, shutting down, and finding closeness overwhelming. Going quiet, needing space, struggling with too much closeness. …
Tag: SelfHealers
The Part of You That Won’t Let Go Is Trying to Protect You
The part of you that won’t let go… is trying to protect you. It replays the past so you don’t get hurt like that again. It stays alert so you don’t feel caught off guard. It doesn’t need to be …
If You Keep Thinking About It, Here’s Why
If you keep thinking about it… it’s because a part of you hasn’t finished processing it yet. Something in you is still trying to make sense of what happened — or trying to protect you from ever feeling that way …
Deep Pain Doesn’t Leave All at Once — It Softens in Layers
What I see, again and again in therapy, is that deep pain doesn’t leave all at once. It softens in layers. You return to it, but each time from a different place. A different level of the spiral. One session …
What to Do When You Can’t Afford Therapy
Therapy can be expensive. But I have always seen it as a vital part of self-care. At different times in my life, I have gone without other things in order to prioritise my mental health, and it has always been …
Tell Them What’s Working
We’re often trained to scan for what isn’t working. To spot the mistake. The flaw. The thing that needs improving. It’s how many of us were raised. It’s how schools assess. It’s how workplaces review. It’s even how our nervous …
Travel Changes Your Brain — Here’s What the Research Says
Travel changes your brain. Not just your mood. Not just your Instagram feed. Your brain. Novelty Reshapes Neural Pathways Research in neuroscience shows that new environments stimulate neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to form new connections. When you navigate unfamiliar …
The Important Skill of Letting People Be Disappointed
Important skill: letting people be disappointed without rushing to rescue or explain. You can be kind — without over-functioning. You can care — without contorting yourself. You can choose your own capacity — and still be a good person. Discomfort …
The Most Underrated Life Skill: Pausing Before You React
Underrated life skill: pausing long enough to ask, “Is this actually worth my energy?” Not every comment needs a response. Not every trigger needs a reaction. Not every invitation deserves a yes. Sometimes the most regulated, self-respecting choice is to …
Why You Don’t Act Your Age When Trauma Gets Triggered
“When trauma gets triggered you don’t act your age, you act the age the wound was created.” — Gabor Maté When a trauma wound is activated, your system does not respond from your present-day self. It responds from the age …