One of the most important things to understand about trauma is that when we’re triggered, we’re often not responding from our adult self. We’re responding from the age the wound was created. A disagreement with your partner might suddenly feel …
Category: Trauma
The Biggest Mistake People Make in Healing
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in healing is trying to get rid of the parts of themselves they don’t like. The anxious part, the angry part, the avoidant part, the people-pleaser, the perfectionist. I get it …
Memory Reconsolidation: Why Your Brain Can Still Heal
One of the most exciting discoveries in neuroscience is something called memory reconsolidation. For years, scientists believed that once an emotional memory was formed, it couldn’t be changed. We now know that’s not true. When an old emotional memory is …
When Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Can’t: Understanding Preverbal Parts
Sometimes the strongest emotional reactions aren’t coming from your adult self. They’re coming from a part of you that was formed before you even had words. A preverbal part. Preverbal parts are formed before we have language. They don’t communicate …
Your Youngest Wounds Don’t Have Words: Understanding Preverbal Parts
Your youngest wounds don’t have words. If something inside you feels overwhelmed… panicked… or desperately alone… it may not be your adult self reacting. Some of our deepest emotional wounds formed before we had language. Before we could explain what …
You Don’t Have to Remember What Happened to Heal
One of the biggest myths about healing is that you have to remember what happened. You don’t. Some of our deepest wounds were formed before we had language. Before we could tell a story or make sense of our experiences. …
Sometimes Healing Is Helping a Younger Part Realise the Danger Has Passed
Today I had a strong somatic reaction that I couldn’t immediately make sense of. My heart was racing.My chest felt hot and tight.And although I knew I was activated, I didn’t understand why. The feeling stayed with me for about …
The Angry Teenager: One of the Most Misunderstood Parts in Therapy
One of the most common parts I meet in therapy is the angry teenager. And often, people can’t stand that part and feel ashamed of it. They tell me: “I don’t like this part.”“It’s mean.”“It’s reactive.”“It’s not who I want …
If You Keep Thinking About It, Here’s Why
If you keep thinking about it… it’s because a part of you hasn’t finished processing it yet. Something in you is still trying to make sense of what happened — or trying to protect you from ever feeling that way …
Deep Pain Doesn’t Leave All at Once — It Softens in Layers
What I see, again and again in therapy, is that deep pain doesn’t leave all at once. It softens in layers. You return to it, but each time from a different place. A different level of the spiral. One session …