“When trauma gets triggered you don’t act your age, you act the age the wound was created.” — Gabor Maté When a trauma wound is activated, your system does not respond from your present-day self. It responds from the age …
Tag: Trauma
Healing From Trauma: Choosing Yourself After Learning to Tolerate Poor Treatment
Trauma can leave you believing you have to tolerate poor treatment because losing someone feels more dangerous than staying. Healing is the slow, steady realisation that your wellbeing matters too. You begin to see that the real loss is abandoning …
Sometimes Walking Away Is How You Choose Yourself
Sometimes walking away is the moment you choose yourself. It’s the moment you decide, deep in your body, “This is the last time I will be treated like this, by anyone.” That clarity doesn’t come from anger. It comes from …
Why Extreme Behaviours Are Often Survival Strategies
Sometimes what we see on the surface looks chaotic, destructive, or hard to understand. But when you are caught in extreme coping behaviours — severe eating disorders, compulsive sexual behaviour, or addiction — what’s underneath is almost always pain that …
Your Relationship Problems Aren’t What You Think They Are
You think you’re fighting about how late they came home. Or that they never put their phone down when you’re talking. Or that you’re always the one planning everything while they coast. But those aren’t the real problems. They’re signals …
When You Don’t Realise How Traumatic Something Was — Until You Say It Out Loud
Sometimes you don’t realise how traumatic something is until you start telling someone else and you see the shock on their face. Sometimes we normalise deeply traumatic events to survive them. We make excuses or pretend it wasn’t that bad …
Has Social Media Stopped Being About Connection?
It’s wild to think that social media, once built for connection, is now mostly a stream of videos from people we don’t even know. When we flick to the next video, we don’t know who created it, what kind of …
Can I Widen My Window of Tolerance?
The simple answer is yes. With time and focus, you can widen your Window of Tolerance. Why does this matter? Because the wider your window, the more resilient you become. Your prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that …
Simple Grounding Techniques to Help You Come Back Into Your Body During Hypoarousal
When we are in hypoarousal, our system begins to shut down. We might feel numb, disconnected, or start to dissociate. One of the best ways to support yourself in this state is to gently stimulate your senses and bring awareness …
Signs of Hypoarousal: Understanding Your Body’s Shutdown Response
Hypoarousal Hypoarousal is another defence mechanism. It can feel like exhaustion, numbness, disconnection from everything and everyone, or like you’re moving through a dream. You may want to sleep a lot, eat very little, and feel shut down or dissociated. …