We all have repeating patterns or ‘cycles’ in our family of origin. It might be repeating patterns of failed marriages, drug and alcohol problems, or family conflict. You become a cycle breaker when you first see the cycle and …
Tag: Attachment wounding
![What is Cycle Breaker?](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/What-is-Cycle-Breaker-copy-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
What is Cycle Breaker?
We all have repeating patterns or ‘cycles’ in our family of origin. It might be repeating patterns of failed marriages, drug and alcohol problems, or family conflict. You become a cycle breaker when you first see the cycle …
![When You Are Overly Sensitive To Your Partner’s Moods You might be overly sensitive to your partner’s moods if you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment. You might feel anxious when you know they have had a hard day You might feel a compulsion to make their perceived pain go away You might wonder if they are feeling the way they are because of something you did When they change their expression, you wonder what YOU did If they pull away for any reason, you feel anxious and assume it is about you In all of these cases, your attention is not with YOU. It is with THEM. How would it feel to re-focus on caring for YOU in that moment of anxiety?](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Screenshot-2021-11-23-at-11.42.47.png?fit=379%2C380&ssl=1)
When You Are Overly Sensitive To Your Partner’s Moods
If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you would have learned to watch for any little thing that might set them off. You learn to do things perfectly to avoid being shouted at or punished. You learn to …
![Childhood attachment wounding](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Screenshot-2021-08-03-at-17.34.40.png?fit=374%2C368&ssl=1)
Childhood Attachment Wounding
When we have childhood attachment wounding we will unconsciously recreate that attachment pattern in our adult relationships. This means we are recreating our childhood trauma in our adult life and that’s why it’s so painful. You might find yourself feeling …
![The Dance Of The Disorganised And The Securely Attached HONEYMOON PHASE: Disorganised: “At last, I am in a relationship with someone stable, safe, and communicates clearly with me. I love their honesty.” Secure: “They seems awesome, lots of fun. They seem a bit up and down, and difficult to read.”](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/1-10-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
The Dance Of The Disorganised And The Securely Attached
So, it starts great. It is AMAZING for the disorganised person to finally be in a relationship with someone who appreciates and respects you. Your new partner is attentive, calls and texts regularly and doesn’t leave you guessing. They do …
![The Dance of The Avoidant and The Securely Attached HONEYMOON PHASE: Avoidant: “At last I am in a relationship with someone who is stable, safe, and fun. They are the whole package, at last, I can be close to someone.” Secure: “They seems great, maybe a bit aloof, and I notice they don’t call that much, but that’s okay as I like some space.”](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/1-9-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
The Dance of The Avoidant and The Securely Attached
Something I haven’t seen talked about anywhere else is the phenomenon where an avoidant will create an anxious attachment out of a normally securely attached person. Can this happen? Yes! I know because I have had this experience myself. I …
![Anxious: “At last I am in a relationship with someone who is stable, safe, and communicates clearly with me. I just want to move in with him right now!” Secure: “She seems great, she is obviously keen on me because she calls and texts a lot, but I don’t mind that.”](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/1-8-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
The Dance Of The Anxious And The Securely Attached
The honeymoon phase for the anxiously attached is wonderful, as they finally find someone to partner with. Deep down they feel that the world is not a safe place, so it is safer with someone than alone. The honeymoon phase …
![The Dance Of The Avoidant & The Anxiously Attached](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/1-7-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
The Dance Of The Avoidant & The Anxiously Attached
If you think of every adult as having a child-like part and an adult-like part, certain combinations are very attractive. For example, an adult with a well-developed adult part, let’s say he’s a banker. Quite serious, not much fun. He …
![They have a deep need for consistency – being a safe person is essential Understanding their fear in a relationship They will have emotional ups and downs – allow space for this WITH boundaries When in an argument, they may dissociate and go numb – take a break and plan to return after 10-15 minutes Or they may become aggressive - maintain healthy boundaries – be open about what you expect and why Work together to create stability for you both – you may need support with this, and that’s okay Watch out for depression and anxiety in your partner and seek help if necessary](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/1-6-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
How To Be With A Partner Who Has Disorganised Attachment
Children are wired for survival. To survive, they will adapt to their environment to get their needs for food, love, and security met. In children who show disorganised attachment, the primary caregiver has been erratic, unpredictable and sometimes abusive and …