One of the biggest myths about healing is that you have to remember what happened. You don’t. Some of our deepest wounds were formed before we had language. Before we could tell a story or make sense of our experiences. …
Tag: TraumaHealing
Sometimes Healing Is Helping a Younger Part Realise the Danger Has Passed
Today I had a strong somatic reaction that I couldn’t immediately make sense of. My heart was racing.My chest felt hot and tight.And although I knew I was activated, I didn’t understand why. The feeling stayed with me for about …
The Angry Teenager: One of the Most Misunderstood Parts in Therapy
One of the most common parts I meet in therapy is the angry teenager. And often, people can’t stand that part and feel ashamed of it. They tell me: “I don’t like this part.”“It’s mean.”“It’s reactive.”“It’s not who I want …
The Most Powerful Words in Therapy: “That Makes Sense”
The most powerful words in therapy are often: “That makes sense.” Not because what happened was okay. Not because the behaviour should continue. But because when you understand why you feel, react, protect, withdraw, people-please, or overthink… You stop fighting …
When Closeness Wasn’t Always Safe: Understanding Shutdown Responses in Relationships
The version of you that shuts down in relationships… probably learned that closeness wasn’t always safe. Some people don’t get louder when they feel unsafe. They get quieter. They stop texting back. Need space. Feel overwhelmed. Disconnect emotionally. Or suddenly …
Why Are So Many Avoidantly Attached People Workaholics?
Many avoidantly attached people are highly productive. They’re often the ones who stay late, take on extra responsibility, and rarely stop moving. But sometimes work isn’t just about ambition. Sometimes it’s a way of coping. For many avoidant people, work …
When Closeness Wasn’t Always Safe: Understanding Shutdown Responses in Relationships
The version of you that shuts down in relationships… probably learned that closeness wasn’t always safe. Some people don’t get louder when they feel unsafe. They get quieter. They stop texting back. Need space. Feel overwhelmed. Disconnect emotionally. Or suddenly …
What Actually Happens in Group Therapy?
One of the reasons I love group therapy so much is because relationship patterns often become clearer in relationship. Many people can understand their patterns intellectually, but still find themselves: Sometimes these patterns only fully appear in relationship — not …
Sometimes Your Anxiety Isn’t Intuition — It’s an Old Attachment Wound
Sometimes your anxiety isn’t intuition. It’s an old attachment wound looking for danger. Intuition usually feels calm and clear. Attachment activation feels urgent, fearful, and consuming. An activated nervous system can make a delayed text, a change in tone, or …
The Most Powerful Words in Therapy: “That Makes Sense”
The most powerful words in therapy: “That makes sense.” Not because what happened was okay. Not because the behaviour should continue. But because when you understand why you feel, react, protect, withdraw, people-please, or overthink… You stop fighting yourself. And …