It is so easy to be dismissive when we are parenting. We are too busy and distracted to stop and listen to what is needed. When we don’t attend to children, they learn they are not important, their feelings and …
Tag: attachment theory
When We Have Emotionally Immature Parents
Let’s start with emotionally immature parents. Your parents were emotionally immature because THEIR parents were emotionally immature. Emotional maturity is passed through family lines. If we are raised by people who know how to have healthy boundaries, self-regulate, have functional, …
An Antidote To Consumerism
There are some aspects of Buddhism that are incredibly close to my heart. One of them helps with the human condition of suffering. It’s called “letting go” and is said to bring happiness. You might like to try this little …
Things Our Inner Child Likes To Hear:
Part of the re-parenting process is the process of shifting our self-talk. I like to imagine that whenever I think something in my head, I am talking to myself and my inner child. I have a rule: If I wouldn’t …
Fathers and Sons
After reading the last two posts, many people have asked, “What about the men?” How do men respond to the father wound? Of course, everyone’s response to any disconnection is different, so the core thing to remember is that there …
Regression into Childhood States
Our core childhood needs are: Attachment Freedom to be yourself and to have your emotions and needs validated Appropriate limits so you learn self-control Independence, competence and self-identity Play When triggered by one of these needs not being met, you …
How Trauma is Transmitted Intergenerationally
Intergeneratioanl trauma is real. Check out this paper “Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms” by Yehuda & Lehrner (2018) for some fantastic research-based insights. Imagine a child growing up in a household with an alcoholic mother. …
What is a Cycle Breaker?
Attachment issues often pass through family lines by the way we are parented and then parent. You become a cycle breaker when you first see the intergenerational patterns and decide to consciously parent in a different way. Some …
When Your Mother Uses You For Emotional Support
As adults, we might find emotionally needy people repulsive and then criticise ourselves for feeling that repulsion. This can show up as we parents appropriately needy children. There might be part of us that wants to run away from their …