I thought point 1 in yesterday’s post, ‘unrealistic relationship expectations: my partner should be able to read my mind’, was worth unpacking. It is often the case that we think we are making our needs clear when our partner has …
Tag: listening
Letting Go Of The Need To Be Right
Research in relationships shows that men find it more difficult than women to accept influence from their partners (see J. Gottman’s research). But, let’s face it, we can all love to win, and we are living in a culture that …
Considering the Perspective of Others
When we take on the perspective of someone else, a whole network of brain regions becomes activated. The dorsomedial and dorsolateral prefrontal cortices, the temporoparietal junction and the precuneus. These areas are responsible for memory, attention, social cognition, integration and …
Tips for Being Assertive
TEXT The first step in being assertive is to know our needs. If we are uncertain about our needs, we will find others are too. We will find it challenging to communicate our needs, and when we do, we will …
Deep Attunement for Trauma
THIS IS THE WORK. As a therapist, it is my job to be deeply attuned to my clients, notice when they are becoming distressed, and assist them in returning to their window of tolerance. I like to think of it …
What Do You Need Right Now?
Stop – check-in – what do you need right now? That’s your gift to yourself right now. Take care, Love, Jen
How To Be Heard When You Feel Criticised
It can be SO difficult to actually listen to your partner when you are in the middle of an argument. All too often, we block ourselves from seeing their point of view because we feel we will be agreeing with …
Open-Mindedness as an Antidote to Polarisation
Being open-minded promotes understanding and is necessary for critical thinking. It helps you to take into account all factors that might be affecting a situation. It is one of the factors that protect against dogmatism and polarisation. Being open-minded can …
How to Stop Catastrophising
I grew up with anxiety around me. It was in the air, in the voices of the adults around me. I know anxiety well. Anxiety still visits me when I have an interview, when I have to do a video …