These are the words of Miriam Rose Ungunmerr-Baumann . As I read these words, I feel a resonance with them within my being. Reminding me that I know this deep listening and quiet, a bit like contemplation, but more. The …
Tag: listening
Deep Attunement for Trauma
THIS IS THE WORK. As a therapist, it is my job to be deeply attuned to my clients, notice when they are becoming distressed, and assist them in returning to their window of tolerance. I like to think of it …
What Do You Need Right Now?
Stop – check-in – what do you need right now? That’s your gift to yourself right now. Take care, Love, Jen
How To Be Heard When You Feel Criticised
It can be SO difficult to actually listen to your partner when you are in the middle of an argument. All too often, we block ourselves from seeing their point of view because we feel we will be agreeing with …
Open-Mindedness as an Antidote to Polarisation
Being open-minded promotes understanding and is necessary for critical thinking. It helps you to take into account all factors that might be affecting a situation. It is one of the factors that protect against dogmatism and polarisation. Being open-minded can …
How to Stop Catastrophising
I grew up with anxiety around me. It was in the air, in the voices of the adults around me. I know anxiety well. Anxiety still visits me when I have an interview, when I have to do a video …
4 Ways That Fear Blocks Connection
Part of what makes therapy so remarkable is that we are heard in a non-judgemental, curious way. There is no criticism, no loaded questions, none of the baggage that is present in an intimate relationship. The power of …
When We Are Driven By Obligation Not Values
I grew up in a pretty obligation free zone. Although we had clear rules about behaviour and other things, there wasn’t a general feeling of obligation. No, “you need to call your mother” or “you need to look after us …
How to Give up Being Right and Accept Influence
Research in relationships shows that men find it more difficult than women to accept influence from their partners (see J. Gottman’s research). But, let’s face it, we can all love to win, and we are living in a culture that …
How to Speak to Someone with Anxiety
???? When faced with someone experiencing high anxiety, rather than giving advice, which can feel invalidating, a better approach is to seek to understand how it is for the person. Let them know you are with them, and they are …