When you have an anxious adaptation in relationships, conflict signals danger to the nervous system. When this happens, your nervous system fills with energy and prepares you for fight or flight. This is super helpful if a tiger is chasing …
Tag: conflict
Conflict as an Opportunity
The curiosity here is around reactivity, and when fight, flight or freeze might take over for either of you in the relationship. This is a conversation that needs to happen when you are NOT in the middle of an argument. …
Pausing During a Conflict
According to the Gottman’s, 69% of relationship arguments are unsolvable, so it no surprise that they can cause so much frustration. Have you ever been in a situation where you are both feeling unheard, and misunderstood and you are both …
Relational Conflict
Have you ever wondered why you end up fighting your partner over and over again about the same thing, a different situation, but the same topic? Let’s take a typical example, money. It might be that in your relationship, you …
Conflict in Relationships
Can you talk things through without one of you storming out? Can you communicate without shouting? Do you feel safe in the conflict? If not, do you feel unsafe physically? Why? Are you being threatened? Do they go to hit …
Ideas for the ‘Struggle’ Relationship Phase
It is normal to have conflict and struggle in a relationship. When you begin a relationship, you usually spend a while in the honeymoon phase and lose part of yourselves as you enter the intoxicating phase of merging. As your …
The Importance of Discussing Family Issues
“In your dreams!” I hear many of you thinking as you read this tile, and for many of you, that is true. Having family discussions about important issues can be a disaster for everyone involved depending on the emotional maturity …
The Effects of Drawing Children into Adult Conflicts
One of the most common examples of this is during a divorce. Both parents are vying for the emotional support of the children. They are consciously manipulating the children to align with them. This might take the form of comments …