What if your personality… isn’t actually your personality? After more than twenty years as a psychotherapist, one of the biggest shifts in my thinking has been this: many of the things we judge most harshly about ourselves aren’t actually personality …
Category: Healing
The Controlling Part: When Protection Gets Mistaken for Personality
“What if I told you that some of the things you call your personality… aren’t actually your personality?” After more than twenty years as a psychotherapist, one of the biggest shifts in my thinking has been this: many of the …
Why You Can Trust What I Teach
Healing isn’t just my profession.It’s been my life’s work. For more than twenty years, I’ve studied the human psyche, sat alongside people through some of the hardest moments of their lives, and devoted myself to understanding what helps people truly …
If the Pain Was Deep, You Will Have to Let It Go Many Times
“If the pain was deep, you will have to let it go many times.” — Yung Pueblo Not because you’re going backwards, but because you’re healing in layers. You might come back to the same memory many times. At first, …
You’re Not Just Building a Life — You’re Building the Safety You Never Had
You’re not just building a life. You’re building the safety you never had. People who grow up with consistent love, support and encouragement have an incredible advantage in life because they don’t have to spend so much of their energy …
You’re Not Acting Your Age When You’re Triggered
Have you ever reacted to something and afterwards thought, “Why did I act like that?” You knew your reaction didn’t fit the situation, but in the moment it felt completely real. We often call this “being irrational.” But that’s rarely …
You’re Not Broken: Why We Stay in Unhealthy Relationships
You don’t stay in unhealthy relationships because you’re broken. You stay because a younger part of you is still hoping for a different ending. The ending where someone finally chooses you. Stays. Sees you. Loves you. So when someone feels …
What Is Earned Secure Attachment — And How Can You Cultivate It?
What is Earned Secure Attachment? Earned secure attachment is when someone develops secure, healthy relationship patterns in adulthood despite having experienced insecure attachments in their early years. How Do You Know If You Have Earned Secure Attachment? When you have …
5 Signs You’re Responding From an Old Wound, Not Your Adult Self
One of the clearest signs you’re responding from an old wound is that your reaction doesn’t seem to fit the situation in front of you. You might know you’re safe, but your body doesn’t. Your heart races, your chest tightens, …
When You’re Triggered, You’re Not Responding From Your Adult Self
One of the most important things to understand about trauma is that when we’re triggered, we’re often not responding from our adult self. We’re responding from the age the wound was created. A disagreement with your partner might suddenly feel …