Sometimes the strongest emotional reactions aren’t coming from your adult self. They’re coming from a part of you that was formed before you even had words. A preverbal part. Preverbal parts are formed before we have language. They don’t communicate …
Category: Healing
Your Youngest Wounds Don’t Have Words: Understanding Preverbal Parts
Your youngest wounds don’t have words. If something inside you feels overwhelmed… panicked… or desperately alone… it may not be your adult self reacting. Some of our deepest emotional wounds formed before we had language. Before we could explain what …
You Don’t Have to Remember What Happened to Heal
One of the biggest myths about healing is that you have to remember what happened. You don’t. Some of our deepest wounds were formed before we had language. Before we could tell a story or make sense of our experiences. …
Sometimes Healing Is Helping a Younger Part Realise the Danger Has Passed
Today I had a strong somatic reaction that I couldn’t immediately make sense of. My heart was racing.My chest felt hot and tight.And although I knew I was activated, I didn’t understand why. The feeling stayed with me for about …
Why Emotionally Distant People Often Feel the Most
Do people find you emotionally distant? Do they say things like: “I don’t know what you’re feeling.”“You never let me in.”“You seem far away.” The truth is… many emotionally distant people feel a lot. They just don’t show it. Some …
The Angry Teenager: One of the Most Misunderstood Parts in Therapy
One of the most common parts I meet in therapy is the angry teenager. And often, people can’t stand that part and feel ashamed of it. They tell me: “I don’t like this part.”“It’s mean.”“It’s reactive.”“It’s not who I want …
Why Many Avoidantly Attached People End Up Loving Therapy
Many avoidantly attached people end up loving therapy. Not because they suddenly want to talk about all their feelings. But because good therapy doesn’t force vulnerability. Many avoidant people grew up learning that depending on others felt unsafe, disappointing, overwhelming, …
The Most Powerful Words in Therapy: “That Makes Sense”
The most powerful words in therapy are often: “That makes sense.” Not because what happened was okay. Not because the behaviour should continue. But because when you understand why you feel, react, protect, withdraw, people-please, or overthink… You stop fighting …
When Closeness Wasn’t Always Safe: Understanding Shutdown Responses in Relationships
The version of you that shuts down in relationships… probably learned that closeness wasn’t always safe. Some people don’t get louder when they feel unsafe. They get quieter. They stop texting back. Need space. Feel overwhelmed. Disconnect emotionally. Or suddenly …
Why Emotionally Distant People Often Feel the Most
Do people find you emotionally distant? Do they say things like: “I don’t know what you’re feeling.”“You never let me in.”“You seem far away.” The truth is… many emotionally distant people feel a lot. They just don’t show it. Some …