You can understand your patterns… and still repeat them in relationships. Many people come to therapy already understanding their patterns intellectually. They know why they people please. Why they over-function. Why they fear abandonment. Why they shut down or withdraw. …
Category: Healing
Why Group Therapy Can Be So Profoundly Healing: Reflections on ‘Group’ by Christie Tate
I just LOVED this book — Group by Christie Tate. It reminds me why group therapy can be so profoundly healing. One of the things I loved most about the book was how honestly she captured the terror of being …
Why Understanding Your Patterns Isn’t Always Enough to Change Them
You might recognise yourself in one of these: Feeling anxious, needing reassurance, and getting activated easily. Overthinking, feeling easily triggered or rejected. Or pulling away, shutting down, and finding closeness overwhelming. Going quiet, needing space, struggling with too much closeness. …
The Part of You That Won’t Let Go Is Trying to Protect You
The part of you that won’t let go… is trying to protect you. It replays the past so you don’t get hurt like that again. It stays alert so you don’t feel caught off guard. It doesn’t need to be …
If You Keep Thinking About It, Here’s Why
If you keep thinking about it… it’s because a part of you hasn’t finished processing it yet. Something in you is still trying to make sense of what happened — or trying to protect you from ever feeling that way …
Deep Pain Doesn’t Leave All at Once — It Softens in Layers
What I see, again and again in therapy, is that deep pain doesn’t leave all at once. It softens in layers. You return to it, but each time from a different place. A different level of the spiral. One session …
What to Do When You Can’t Afford Therapy
Therapy can be expensive. But I have always seen it as a vital part of self-care. At different times in my life, I have gone without other things in order to prioritise my mental health, and it has always been …
Spiritual Awakening Can Feel Surprisingly Lonely
Spiritual awakening can feel…surprisingly lonely. You start to see things differently. Feel more. Notice more. And suddenly…the conversations around you don’t quite land the same. You try to explain what you’re experiencing… but it feels like people don’t really get …
Tell Them What’s Working
We’re often trained to scan for what isn’t working. To spot the mistake. The flaw. The thing that needs improving. It’s how many of us were raised. It’s how schools assess. It’s how workplaces review. It’s even how our nervous …
Small Acts of Kindness Regulate More Than You Realise
Small acts of goodness regulate more than you realise. They remind your body and others that safety still exists in human connection. It might be helping someone with their shopping, pausing to hold a door open for someone, picking up …