Have you ever reacted to something and afterwards thought, “Why did I act like that?” You knew your reaction didn’t fit the situation, but in the moment it felt completely real. We often call this “being irrational.” But that’s rarely …
Category: Healing
You’re Not Broken: Why We Stay in Unhealthy Relationships
You don’t stay in unhealthy relationships because you’re broken. You stay because a younger part of you is still hoping for a different ending. The ending where someone finally chooses you. Stays. Sees you. Loves you. So when someone feels …
What Is Earned Secure Attachment — And How Can You Cultivate It?
What is Earned Secure Attachment? Earned secure attachment is when someone develops secure, healthy relationship patterns in adulthood despite having experienced insecure attachments in their early years. How Do You Know If You Have Earned Secure Attachment? When you have …
5 Signs You’re Responding From an Old Wound, Not Your Adult Self
One of the clearest signs you’re responding from an old wound is that your reaction doesn’t seem to fit the situation in front of you. You might know you’re safe, but your body doesn’t. Your heart races, your chest tightens, …
When You’re Triggered, You’re Not Responding From Your Adult Self
One of the most important things to understand about trauma is that when we’re triggered, we’re often not responding from our adult self. We’re responding from the age the wound was created. A disagreement with your partner might suddenly feel …
How Confidence Is Really Built
Your brain doesn’t learn that you’re capable because you tell yourself you are. It learns because you do hard things, survive them, and slowly begin to trust yourself. That’s how confidence is built. Confidence isn’t something you think your way …
The Biggest Mistake People Make in Healing
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in healing is trying to get rid of the parts of themselves they don’t like. The anxious part, the angry part, the avoidant part, the people-pleaser, the perfectionist. I get it …
The Courage to Stay When Everything Feels Unfamiliar
At 12 years old, I left my school on a council estate in England to attend a private school on a scholarship. I remember feeling completely out of place. The girls seemed to come from a different world — they …
Memory Reconsolidation: Why Your Brain Can Still Heal
One of the most exciting discoveries in neuroscience is something called memory reconsolidation. For years, scientists believed that once an emotional memory was formed, it couldn’t be changed. We now know that’s not true. When an old emotional memory is …
Worrying Is the Worst Way to Use Your Imagination
Today someone said, “Worrying is the worst way to use your imagination,” and that’s easily the best thing I’ve heard all week. Like most people, I have a part that worries. Worries about my kids, my work, the world… Sometimes …