I grew up with anxiety around me. It was in the air, in the voices of the adults around me. I know anxiety well. Anxiety still visits me when I have an interview, when I have to do a video …
Tag: listening
4 Ways That Fear Blocks Connection
Part of what makes therapy so remarkable is that we are heard in a non-judgemental, curious way. There is no criticism, no loaded questions, none of the baggage that is present in an intimate relationship. The power of …
When We Are Driven By Obligation Not Values
I grew up in a pretty obligation free zone. Although we had clear rules about behaviour and other things, there wasn’t a general feeling of obligation. No, “you need to call your mother” or “you need to look after us …
How to Give up Being Right and Accept Influence
Research in relationships shows that men find it more difficult than women to accept influence from their partners (see J. Gottman’s research). But, let’s face it, we can all love to win, and we are living in a culture that …
How to Speak to Someone with Anxiety
???? When faced with someone experiencing high anxiety, rather than giving advice, which can feel invalidating, a better approach is to seek to understand how it is for the person. Let them know you are with them, and they are …
The Potential Benefits of Discussing Family Issues Are
“In your dreams!” I hear many of you thinking as you read this tile, and for many of you that is true. Having family discussions about important issues can be a disaster for everyone involved depending on the emotional maturity …
Why You Might Not be Getting the Support You Need
Can THIS person give me the support I need right now? If the answer is yes, great. If the answer is no, know that there can be many reasons why they cannot offer that support. Know that you deserve to …
Being In The Darkness With A Therapist
Sometimes, we don’t get what we need from our friends and family. This doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care about or love us. It might mean: they are triggered by you they are triggered by what is happening to you …
Self-Awareness mixed with Compassion results in Self-Acceptance
What is self-acceptance? Self-acceptance is a deep awareness of your strengths and weaknesses and a feeling of satisfaction despite past behaviours, choices and areas where you feel you are lacking. It is about embracing ALL parts of self and accepting …
What are YOUR Blockages to TRUE Self-Awareness
True self-awareness takes courage. We have to be ready to look within and find things we don’t like and / or feel unable to change. Sometimes self-awareness can feel more like a punishing party. This is why I am a …