If you grew up with unstable parents, it is common to have a part of you that was busy trying to stabilise them. That might have meant watching out for them drinking too much or trying to be happy to …
Tag: SelfHealers
Why Talking About the Future Strengthens Your Relationship
One of the most powerful things you can do in your relationship is talk about the future you want to build together. It doesn’t have to be big, dramatic dreams. It can be as simple as, “I can’t wait to …
If It Hurts, It Hurts — You Don’t Have to Justify Your Pain
If it hurts, it hurts. You don’t have to justify it. You are not being too sensitive. Each of us feels things in our own way. If something hurts, that’s real. It’s not overreacting. It’s not being too much. It’s …
Healing Isn’t Linear — And That’s Okay
One of the biggest misunderstandings I see in my clients is the belief that healing should be linear. That once you’ve done enough therapy, read the right books, or finally understand your past, you “graduate” from your wounds and never …
Why Lies of Omission Can Hurt Just as Much as Direct Deception
Sometimes betrayal isn’t about what was said — it’s about what was left unsaid. When someone withholds information that matters to you, they’re making a decision on your behalf without your consent. That can leave you feeling blindsided, powerless, and …
The Nervous System of a Woman Who Grew Up Without Emotional Support
Too many women grow up without the emotional care they need. Maybe your parents were physically present, put food on the table, and kept a roof over your head, but they weren’t emotionally attuned. Perhaps your distress was ignored, minimised, …
The Avoidant-Anxious Cycle: Understanding the Pattern That Keeps Couples Stuck
This is a dynamic I see so often in my work with couples. Over time, one partner begins to withdraw emotionally. Communication reduces, responsiveness drops, and there’s a subtle — or sometimes not so subtle — pulling away. Less sharing. …
Be Gentle With Your Protective Patterns
Be gentle with your protective patterns. They developed at a time when they were needed. Anger can be damaging — and it can be protective. Avoidance can hold you back — and it can be protective. Overthinking can be frustrating …
The Pain in My Hips Wouldn’t Go Away — Until I Stopped Trying to Fix My Body
It started back in Australia. I thought, “I’m just sitting too much.” So I walked every day. Did hip-opening yoga. Tried to fix it physically. But when I got to India… it got worse. Yesterday, I couldn’t get comfortable at …
Why Trauma Makes You Feel Like You Have to Understand Everything to Stay Safe
When you grow up or live through experiences where things felt unpredictable or unsafe, your nervous system learns a very specific survival strategy. It teaches you that understanding everything is the only way to stay safe. Trauma doesn’t just change …