Why You Don’t Act Your Age When Trauma Gets Triggered

“When trauma gets triggered you don’t act your age, you act the age the wound was created.” — Gabor Maté

When a trauma wound is activated, your system does not respond from your present-day self. It responds from the age you were when the hurt first happened.

This is why a calm conversation can suddenly feel overwhelming, or why you might shut down, panic, or lash out in ways that do not feel like “you.” It is not a failure. It’s often a protective part or a younger part trying to keep you safe.

When you begin to recognise these moments as emotional time travel, everything changes. You stop blaming yourself and start to make sense to yourself.

Healing is not about forcing yourself to “act your age.” It is about meeting the younger you with the safety and compassion they never had.

Love, Jen 🪷

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Build Secure Attachment From the Inside Out

In my self-paced Inner Child Healing Course, I guide you to meet the younger parts of you that take over when you’re triggered, and to grow the loving, wise inner parent who can care for them. Five modules, guided meditations and a workbook, with lifetime access for US$97.

Launch bonus: join by Sunday 22 November and you’re invited to a live 50-minute Q&A with me.

“For the first time, I have a sense of me being there for the younger parts of myself instead of looking to other people to make me feel safe.” E. Mellody, past student