“When trauma gets triggered you don’t act your age, you act the age the wound was created.” — Gabor Maté When a trauma wound is activated, your system does not respond from your present-day self. It responds from the age …
Tag: psychoeducation
Sometimes Walking Away Is How You Choose Yourself
Sometimes walking away is the moment you choose yourself. It’s the moment you decide, deep in your body, “This is the last time I will be treated like this, by anyone.” That clarity doesn’t come from anger. It comes from …
Why Extreme Behaviours Are Often Survival Strategies
Sometimes what we see on the surface looks chaotic, destructive, or hard to understand. But when you are caught in extreme coping behaviours — severe eating disorders, compulsive sexual behaviour, or addiction — what’s underneath is almost always pain that …
Your Relationship Problems Aren’t What You Think They Are
You think you’re fighting about how late they came home. Or that they never put their phone down when you’re talking. Or that you’re always the one planning everything while they coast. But those aren’t the real problems. They’re signals …
Has Social Media Stopped Being About Connection?
It’s wild to think that social media, once built for connection, is now mostly a stream of videos from people we don’t even know. When we flick to the next video, we don’t know who created it, what kind of …
Can I Widen My Window of Tolerance?
The simple answer is yes. With time and focus, you can widen your Window of Tolerance. Why does this matter? Because the wider your window, the more resilient you become. Your prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that …
Signs of Hypoarousal: Understanding Your Body’s Shutdown Response
Hypoarousal Hypoarousal is another defence mechanism. It can feel like exhaustion, numbness, disconnection from everything and everyone, or like you’re moving through a dream. You may want to sleep a lot, eat very little, and feel shut down or dissociated. …
Signs of Hyperarousal and Understanding Your Window of Tolerance
Signs of Hyperarousal Most of the time, we live within what’s called our Window of Tolerance — a safe range of arousal where we feel grounded, present, and able to self-regulate. In this state, the reasoning part of our brain …
The Window of Tolerance: Understanding Your Nervous System’s Comfort Zone
We don’t live within our Window of Tolerance all the time. When we’re inside the window, we feel grounded, present, and able to respond flexibly to what life throws at us. But when stress builds, we can tip into hyperarousal …
You Can’t Go Back After Two Weeks and Expect Them to Have Changed
Real change takes time, consistency, and a willingness to do the deep work. If the same patterns keep repeating, it’s a sign they may not be ready — or willing — to shift. Your job isn’t to wait and hope. …