You think you’re fighting about how late they came home. Or that they never put their phone down when you’re talking. Or that you’re always the one planning everything while they coast.
But those aren’t the real problems. They’re signals of something much deeper.
Maybe your fear of being unimportant gets triggered every time they forget a detail. Maybe their old shame wound rises the moment you point out what’s missing.
In those moments, you’re not just two adults having a disagreement — you’re two nervous systems reliving unfinished stories from the past.
Healing together means noticing whose wound has just been touched. It means pausing long enough to ask: “Am I really upset with my partner, or with the echoes of my past?”
Because when you confuse the two, you risk treating the person you love like the parent who couldn’t show up for you — and pushing away the connection you’re desperately longing for.
Love, Jen 🪷
Ready to Transform Your Relationship?
Couples therapy with Jenny creates a safe, neutral space for you and your partner to slow down, truly hear each other, and rebuild the intimacy and trust you’ve been missing. Whether you’re in crisis or simply wanting to grow together — support is available.