When your partner criticises you, what happens inside? For some people, the body wants to shrink, go quiet, or disappear. For others, there’s an immediate surge of defensiveness or counter-attack. Both responses are protective. They developed for a reason. And …
Category: Psychotherapy
Why You Don’t Act Your Age When Trauma Gets Triggered
“When trauma gets triggered you don’t act your age, you act the age the wound was created.” — Gabor Maté When a trauma wound is activated, your system does not respond from your present-day self. It responds from the age …
Memory Reconsolidation: Why Real Healing Is About Rewriting, Not Just Moving On
Most people think healing is about “moving on.” But the real transformation happens when the brain updates the emotional meaning of an old memory. This is memory reconsolidation. Memory reconsolidation is the process where an old emotional learning becomes activated, …
Memory Reconsolidation: How Your Brain Rewrites Old Emotional Stories
Healing is not only psychological. It is neurological. Memory reconsolidation is the process your brain uses to update old emotional learning so that your triggers lose their grip and your system begins to feel safer from the inside out. Memory …
9 Therapies That Harness Memory Reconsolidation to Heal Trauma
When it comes to healing trauma, real change happens when the brain can safely update its old emotional memories. This is called memory reconsolidation. Many modern therapies work by gently activating painful memories and pairing them with new, safe experiences: …
How Your Brain Rewires Old Wounds: The Science of Memory Reconsolidation
One of the most incredible things about the brain is that it has the ability to update old emotional learning. This process is called memory reconsolidation, and it’s one of the key ways therapy creates deep, lasting change. Here’s How …
Is Your Yes Really a Yes? How Your Nervous System Shapes Your Decisions
So often we think our yes or no comes from logic… but most of the time, it’s coming from your nervous system. You can have a “yes” that comes from sympathetic activation — a fight-or-flight surge — or a “yes” …
Why Extreme Behaviours Are Often Survival Strategies
Sometimes what we see on the surface looks chaotic, destructive, or hard to understand. But when you are caught in extreme coping behaviours — severe eating disorders, compulsive sexual behaviour, or addiction — what’s underneath is almost always pain that …
The Avoidant-Anxious Cycle: Understanding the Pattern That Keeps Couples Stuck
This is a dynamic I see so often in my work with couples. Over time, one partner begins to withdraw emotionally. Communication reduces, responsiveness drops, and there’s a subtle — or sometimes not so subtle — pulling away. Less sharing. …
When I Ask How You’re Doing, I Always Want the Long Version
When I ask how you’re doing, I always want the long version. In my one-on-one sessions, people often apologise for “dumping” everything in the first 10 minutes. But that’s exactly what I want. Therapy is the place for the unfiltered …