What if your personality… isn’t actually your personality? After more than twenty years as a psychotherapist, one of the biggest shifts in my thinking has been this: many of the things we judge most harshly about ourselves aren’t actually personality …
Category: Psychotherapy
The Controlling Part: When Protection Gets Mistaken for Personality
“What if I told you that some of the things you call your personality… aren’t actually your personality?” After more than twenty years as a psychotherapist, one of the biggest shifts in my thinking has been this: many of the …
Why You Can Trust What I Teach
Healing isn’t just my profession.It’s been my life’s work. For more than twenty years, I’ve studied the human psyche, sat alongside people through some of the hardest moments of their lives, and devoted myself to understanding what helps people truly …
If the Pain Was Deep, You Will Have to Let It Go Many Times
“If the pain was deep, you will have to let it go many times.” — Yung Pueblo Not because you’re going backwards, but because you’re healing in layers. You might come back to the same memory many times. At first, …
You’re Not Acting Your Age When You’re Triggered
Have you ever reacted to something and afterwards thought, “Why did I act like that?” You knew your reaction didn’t fit the situation, but in the moment it felt completely real. We often call this “being irrational.” But that’s rarely …
5 Signs You’re Responding From an Old Wound, Not Your Adult Self
One of the clearest signs you’re responding from an old wound is that your reaction doesn’t seem to fit the situation in front of you. You might know you’re safe, but your body doesn’t. Your heart races, your chest tightens, …
When You’re Triggered, You’re Not Responding From Your Adult Self
One of the most important things to understand about trauma is that when we’re triggered, we’re often not responding from our adult self. We’re responding from the age the wound was created. A disagreement with your partner might suddenly feel …
How Confidence Is Really Built
Your brain doesn’t learn that you’re capable because you tell yourself you are. It learns because you do hard things, survive them, and slowly begin to trust yourself. That’s how confidence is built. Confidence isn’t something you think your way …
The Biggest Mistake People Make in Healing
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in healing is trying to get rid of the parts of themselves they don’t like. The anxious part, the angry part, the avoidant part, the people-pleaser, the perfectionist. I get it …
Memory Reconsolidation: Why Your Brain Can Still Heal
One of the most exciting discoveries in neuroscience is something called memory reconsolidation. For years, scientists believed that once an emotional memory was formed, it couldn’t be changed. We now know that’s not true. When an old emotional memory is …