“Shame is a painful emotion that is created because of a sense of failure to meet a certain standard. It sounds like: “I’m a failure, I’m a terrible person, I’m useless”. They are absolute statements about the self that make …
Words Used to Shame and Prevent Assertiveness:
A sure way to stop people from being assertive is to shame them. As Brene Brown talks about so wonderfully in her book ‘Daring Greatly’, shame is pervasive in our culture. It limits innovation, authentic self-expression and stops us from …
Examples of Assertive Communication
Sometimes finding the right words can be tricky. I hope these slides will give you a feel for what an assertive conversation might sound like. A wonderful resource in the area of communication is Marshall Rosenberg’s ‘Non-Violent Communication’. I bought …
Being Assertive
Assertiveness is a skill that CAN be learnt. If you grew up in a home where assertiveness was not demonstrated, it might be more difficult to understand and have an intuitive feel for it, and that is normal. If you …
Making Your way From Passive to Assertive
Being assertive is NOT being bossy or selfish. Being assertive is knowing what you need for self-care and being able to create effective boundaries. It is having the confidence to speak up in the face of injustice. The world needs …
Normalising Despair
“Despair is the price one pays for self-awareness. Look deeply into life, and you'll always find despair.” ― Irvin D. Yalom, When Nietzsche Wept
Working with YOUR Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
Most passive-aggressive people have usually learnt this form of communication /behaviour from their parents or a parent. I find one of the major reasons for passive-aggressive behaviour is essentially conflict avoidance. The thought of getting into a fight that you …
How To Work With Passive Aggressive People
Let’s not beat around the bush. Dealing with passive-aggressive people can be REALLY tricky. I know because I grew up with some, and I have been one at different times in my life. When someone is being passive-aggressive, they are …
Detecting Passive-Aggressive Behaviour.
A lot of passive-aggressive communication comes from a difficulty with communicating assertively. It can be challenging for passive-aggressive people to share things they think might be received negatively. They might find it difficult to: say ‘no’ put boundaries in place …
Tips for Being Assertive
TEXT The first step in being assertive is to know our needs. If we are uncertain about our needs, we will find others are too. We will find it challenging to communicate our needs, and when we do, we will …