Tag: Healing

What We Imagine Growth To Be:

What We Imagine Growth To Be:

May 4, 2021

Have you ever been in the trap of imagining that when you have grown enough, everything in your life will be ‘perfect’? You will have the ‘perfect’ job, one that your sense of purpose is aligned with, and you will …

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Dark Night of the Soul as an Existential Crisis - Where the Scaffolds Come Crashing Down In modern culture, when we talk about the dark night of the soul, we are talking about an experience that creates a sense of meaninglessness and takes you into the depths of your being.

Dark Night of the Soul as an Existential Crisis

May 1, 2021

Where the Scaffolds Come Crashing Down Did you know that the origin of the phrase ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ is a poem written by a 16th-century Spanish mystic, St John of the Cross? In it, he talks about the …

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1 - What is Reparenting? 2 - Reparenting is the process of learning to meet your authentic needs as an adult. 3 - We learn how to get our needs met by our primary caregiver. If that person was misattuned and our needs were not met or was overly critical or abusive, or that person could not care for themselves effectively. We may not learn to recognise our needs or expect to have them met by ourselves or anyone else. 4 - Signs Reparenting Would be Helpful to Me: I often abandon myself by putting others needs first I struggle to put in place healthy boundaries that protect my energy I have angry outbursts that feel like tantrums I struggle to keep promises to myself and others I have a deep sense of not being good enough Most of my relationships are co-dependent and dysfunctional I look outside myself for validation and acceptance I struggle with love addiction or other types of addictions 5 - We have the opportunity to learn how to: Validate our reality Be kind to ourselves rather than critical Say 'no' when we need to Comfort ourselves in a healthy way when we are feeling a strong emotion Tune into our authentic need at any moment

What is Reparenting?

April 8, 2021

Wherever you are in your healing journey, reparenting is part of it. When we have been raised by adults who didn’t know how to regulate their nervous system, who did not have the skills to role model healthy boundaries or …

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I Can't Change My Attachment Style, Can I? Yes, you can.

I Can’t Change My Attachment Style, Can I?

April 3, 2021

Up until the age of two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for …

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s Your Attachment Style Affecting Your Relationships?

Is Your Attachment Style Affecting Your Relationships?

April 3, 2021

Your attachment style influences all of your intimate relationships. Knowing if you are secure or insecure in your attachment can help you to understand some of your behaviour when you are in relationships. Know that your attachment style CAN be …

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Breaking the Cycle of Poverty

Breaking the Cycle of Poverty

March 29, 2021

Four ???????????????????? ????????????, ???????? ???????????????????????? ???????????????? ???????? ???????? ???????????????????? ????????????. I had the opportunity to be with him for a while, about four weeks before he passed. ⁣⁠ As he laid in his bed, getting weaker and weaker and having …

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Discover - in this phase, we discover the unhelpful patterns we are repeating in our life. It might be a repeating pattern of choosing avoidant partners, of having yet another narcissist in your life, or of having your reality denied. Heal - This is the phase where you take the time to get to the root of the issue, rather than just addressing the symptoms. You will ask, 'What part of me is attracted to an avoidant person?’ And ‘how can I attend to and heal that part of me to break this cycle?' Grow - As you heal, you start to change. You need new boundaries, new goals, and new ways of being in the world that are aligned with this new you. This phase is expansive and exciting, and sometimes a bit scary!

The Cycle Breakers’ Circle

March 29, 2021

This is the cycle we all go through on any healing journey. We need to discover where we are stuck, what we have inherited from our parents and our childhood. Then we need to attend to and heal those wounded …

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BLUE The Repeating Cycle of Attachment Wounding. 1. The child is raised by a mother with mental health issues. She is not attuned to the child and numbs her pain with drugs and alcohol 2. The child learns that she cannot rely on her mother for comfort; she learns to stay out of the way and starts to care for herself 3. She develops an 'avoidant' attachment style 4. As a mother, she finds intimacy difficult and pushes her child away 5. The child develops either an avoidant or anxious attachment style 6. And the cycle continues

What is a Cycle Breaker?

March 29, 2021

We all have repeating patterns or ‘cycles’ in our family of origin. It might be repeating patterns of failed marriages, drug and alcohol problems, or family conflict.  You become a cycle breaker when you first see the cycle and then …

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What does abandoning yourself in an argument look like Your partner wants you to go to a casual work lunch, but you have a headache and don't feel like it. He feels uncomfortable for you to stay home because the food has been paid for. So you go, but you feel resentful and uncared for because you think he is prioritising the money for the food over your wellbeing. Your partner doesn't trust you with other men and argues that you would give him your social media passwords if there were nothing to hide. Nothing is going on, and you don't want him to have your passwords, but it feels easier than his constant jealousy. You give him the passwords and abandon yourself.

What Does Abandoning Yourself in an Argument Look Like

March 29, 2021

Sometimes, we only find out that we should have stood our ground more firmly AFTER the fact. It isn’t until we are sat at the work lunch, with a pounding head, having to make polite conversation, that it is obvious …

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Can Conflict Become A Way For a Couple To Connect? What would it be like if: You started to use conflict as a way to connect more deeply? Instead of using the disagreement to move further apart, you chose to get curious? You saw the conflict as an opportunity to get to know one another more deeply? You took the time to really hear the other person’s view? You allowed yourself to feel empathy for them without fear of abandoning yourself? You allowed your heart to soften as you hear their frustration or pain You allowed the conflict to be an avenue through which you can know your partner more intimately? When in conflict, you could get curious about yourself and your partner? You could remember that we all have wounds; maybe you are feeling yours now and seeing theirs? Through conflict, you could hold space for one another’s wounds and imperfections without withdrawing?

Can Conflict Become A Way For a Couple To Connect?

March 29, 2021

Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …

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