When attuned parents raise children, they develop a healthy attachment style of relating in intimate relationships. When a child’s needs are not met, the child will develop ‘early maladaptive schemas’ (EMS). This term is used in Schema Therapy, one of …
Tag: attachment theory
Significant EQ Abilities Are…
The ability to perceive emotions is something we learn in childhood. When my son was about 9, he went through a phase of about two months where he would regularly ask me if I was feeling angry. He would say: …
Insights into a Satisfying Marriage
FRIENDSHIP was the defining factor for both men and women in achieving a happy marriage. What is friendship in marriage? It is having mutual love and respect for one another, loyalty to your partner and knowing one another’s preferences and …
The Emotionally Attuned Parent
It is so easy to be dismissive when we are parenting. We are too busy and distracted to stop and listen to what is needed. When we don’t attend to children, they learn they are not important, their feelings and …
When We Have Emotionally Immature Parents
Let’s start with emotionally immature parents. Your parents were emotionally immature because THEIR parents were emotionally immature. Emotional maturity is passed through family lines. If we are raised by people who know how to have healthy boundaries, self-regulate, have functional, …
An Antidote To Consumerism
There are some aspects of Buddhism that are incredibly close to my heart. One of them helps with the human condition of suffering. It’s called “letting go” and is said to bring happiness. You might like to try this little …
Things Our Inner Child Likes To Hear:
Part of the re-parenting process is the process of shifting our self-talk. I like to imagine that whenever I think something in my head, I am talking to myself and my inner child. I have a rule: If I wouldn’t …
Re-Parenting Resources
How do you start to heal the mother and father wound? One of the pieces of the puzzle for me was doing transactional analysis work. More commonly known as inner child work. I have been doing this work with myself …
Fathers and Sons
After reading the last two posts, many people have asked, “What about the men?” How do men respond to the father wound? Of course, everyone’s response to any disconnection is different, so the core thing to remember is that there …
Regression into Childhood States
Our core childhood needs are: Attachment Freedom to be yourself and to have your emotions and needs validated Appropriate limits so you learn self-control Independence, competence and self-identity Play When triggered by one of these needs not being met, you …