As children, our survival depends on staying connected to our caregivers. It’s a simple truth: without them, we cannot thrive. That’s why they say, “We are wired for connection.”
However, growing up with caregivers who are not attuned to our needs can lead to survival instincts kicking in. Neglect, dismissiveness, selfishness, or active addiction can hinder our basic needs from being met, potentially putting us at risk.
As adults, the trauma of not having our needs met can manifest in intense fear of abandonment. While it may not make logical sense, our bodies remember the trauma. Our responses may be childlike, seeking to stay connected at any cost.
You might notice yourself acting out, seeking attention and connection like a child would.
You might find yourself people-pleasing, yearning for validation and approval.
You might experience self-abandonment, neglecting your own needs to maintain connections.
You might feel clingy, fearing losing those you care about the most.
Insecurity might become a constant companion, undermining your confidence.
You may find yourself shrinking, minimizing your own worth to keep others close.
If this resonates with you, it’s possible that you have attachment wounding. The good news is, you can work through it. In my Relationship Cycle Breakers course, we delve deep into healing unhelpful relationship patterns over six weeks.
If attachment anxiety strikes a chord with you, let me know in the comments.