When we people-please, it is often the younger parts of us that are afraid of being rejected or hurt that take over.
Safe In a Relationship
When you don’t feel safe, the usual thing to do is to adapt your behaviour to create the most safety possible. This is when we people-please and shape-shift for approval or to keep the peace. When this happens, the need …
A Conscious Relationship
This is how a relationship can become conscious; through love, support, understanding, compassion, communication and trust.
How to Create Distance In A Family Relationship
It’s okay to need more space in a family relationship. Let me say it again – It’s okay to need more space in a relationship. When you have grown up taking care of others emotionally or being afraid of their …
Creating Distance in a Relationship Can be a Form of Self-Care
Let me know in the comments which ones worked for you; 1,2,3,4, or 5 – or if something different worked for you Love, Jen
Safe Enough
For me, right now, it is the presence of my husband on his laptop. It is the felt sense of my house all around me. It is the pillows supporting my back. What allows you to feel ‘safe enough’ right …
Attachment Styles and Relational Distance
Attachment styles exist on a spectrum. You can be more or less anxious or more or less avoidant in your attachment style. About 80% of distressed couples who go to couple therapy are in the anxious/avoidant dynamic. Have you ever …
Suicidal Thoughts Through an IFS Lens
1 in 6 people have serious suicidal thoughts in Australia, with the “lifetime prevalence of suicidal thoughts ranging from 64% among cisgender men to 90% among non-binary participants and 91% among trans men.” (AIHW, 2023). Suicidal thoughts often cause a …
Anxious Attachment and People Pleasing
If attachment anxiety resonates with you, let me know in the comments. When attachment anxiety takes hold, the instinct to people please and prioritize the needs of others over your own can take over. This behavior is understandable because of …