When we meet someone who has experienced trauma, it helps to hold a dual lens.
The first lens meets the behaviour—often the protective system that person has developed to stay safe. This might look like withdrawal, anger, or a refusal of support. And it makes sense. When someone has learned that people can be unsafe, their nervous system adapts to protect them.
The second lens invites us to look beneath the behaviour—to the pain, fear, or shame that may be driving it.
Refusing help might not be resistance—it might be shame.
Aggression might not be cruelty—it might be a learned way to keep others at a distance to feel safe.
Holding a trauma-informed perspective allows us to meet these patterns with compassion rather than judgment.
And often, the more severe the trauma, the more intense the protective strategies.
If you know that trauma has built a strong protective system within you, and you’re ready to release what’s been trapped inside, I gently encourage you to reach out to a trauma-informed therapist.
You deserve support.
You deserve healing.
You are not alone.
With love,
Jen 🌻
