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Jennifer Nurick

All things Love, Attachment and Healing from Trauma

  • Home
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FATHERS & SONS When a father is emotionally unavailable to his son, the son lacks a healthy male role model. He might struggle to deal with emotions in an effective way Struggle to know what a healthy boundary is and know how to put it in place Feel confused about what it is to be male in the world Use peers as role models rather than parents Experience low self-esteem He might fight to be different to his father He might inadvertently become just like his father, then experience self-hatred Struggle with male friendships Shut down his emotional self and numb Feel he is unworthy of his father’s attention

Fathers and Sons

Jennifer June 19, 2022

After reading the last two posts, many people have asked, “What about the men?” How do men respond to the father wound? Of course, everyone’s response to any disconnection is different, so the core thing to remember is that there …

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Recognising The Father Wound THE PROTECTOR (creates a hard shell) I don’t need his love; I’ll shut down my deep yearning to be close. I’ll try to punish him for not loving me. I’ll be tough. I find weakness repulsive. I don’t care what he thinks or wants. I’ll do what I like (rebel). As an adult tends to: Deny own deep need to be loved and accepted Be wary of men Expect to be rejected by men Keeps one foot in and one foot out of relationships Can be called “hard to get to know.”

Recognising The Father Wound

Jennifer June 19, 2022

The father wound is passed down through family lines. It comes about because of the father’s unhealed trauma and inner wounds. Without healing, these wounds are passed to his children. All children are hard-wired for love. Children yearn for the …

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THE UNAVAILABLE FATHER You either pushed him away, “I don’t need his love”, and denied your deep need to be loved, OR you would do anything to gain his attention and approval, even if you abandoned yourself in the process. Are you still doing this with other men in your life?

The Unavailable Father

Jennifer June 7, 2022

So much of the literature in mental health and psychology has focused on the mother and attachment with the mother. But what about our fathers? As children, we need a healthy father figure. It doesn’t have to be a biological …

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“Sure, there are bad fathers, but for every one of those, there are 20 who just didn't have the words, the example, or the culture of being close to their children, and who emotionally starved to death as a consequence.” Steve Biddulph “Healing the Father Wound”

A Powerful Quite From Steve Biddulph

Jennifer June 7, 2022

When I read this, I feel for my father. My dad was 52 when I was born. He was older than my grandparents. He fought in WWII; my grandparents were too young. He came from a completely different era to …

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5 Tips for Gaslighting at Work: Document the dates, times and specifics of the events on a personal phone or laptop. If necessary, notify HR. Know your truth. Don’t be manipulated into doubting yourself and what you know to be true. A great way to check this out is to check in with other people in the office. Always meet the gaslighter with other people present so they can corroborate your version of events. Check-in with yourself about staying in this job. Is the stress worth it? It might seem like the gaslighter wins if you leave, but is this true? Do YOU win if you go? Is that the final boundary around what you will and will not accept? Put as much as possible in writing so there is a paper trail of ideas, meeting changes etc., that cannot later be refuted.

5 Tips to help you with Gaslighting at Work:

Jennifer June 7, 2022

Gaslighting at work can ruin your confidence and career. I have seen it. The behaviour is easier to manage if other people in the office see what is happening. It is much more difficult when one person is singled out …

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Family Dynamics in the workplace

Family Dynamics in the Workplace

Jennifer June 7, 2022

Has anyone here run away from your family of origin, only to find the same dynamics being played out at work? For many people, the answer is YES!!! Why is that? In my view, this is our psyche trying to …

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GASLIGHTING AT WORK might look and sound like:

Gaslighting At Work Might Look And Sound Like:

Jennifer June 7, 2022

I have seen gaslighting at work destroy lives and create total misery. Gaslighting is a power game and a form of emotional abuse, where one person’s version of reality is denied by denying facts, memories, interpretation of events, or feelings. …

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6 STEPS TO STOP GASLIGHTING

6 Steps to Stop Gaslighting

Jennifer June 7, 2022

One of the main things to be aware of with people who use gaslighting is BOUNDARIES. When you know it is black, and they say it is white, there is no point wasting your energy arguing that it is black. …

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Signs you might be experiencing Gaslighting

You Might Be Experiencing Gaslighting If You:

Jennifer June 7, 2022

I thought it might be useful to see a list of things you might experience if you are living with gaslighting. This is not meant as a diagnostic tool of any kind, purely information.

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How to recognise gaslighting

How to Recognise Gaslighting

Jennifer June 7, 2022

Gaslighting is real – it IS a form of emotional abuse. Here are some things to look out for in intimate relationships. Remember that gaslighting can happen in your family, relationships, and at work. Wherever it is going on, it …

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