This is one I come back to again and again. Whenever I am feeling guilty, I ask myself, am I out of alignment with my values? If yes, I realign with them. If not, I stop the guilt. Love, Jen
Mental Illness: Adapting to Unhealthy Situations
Knowing that mental illness results from normal adaptations to unhealthy situations became clear to me when I read “The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog” by Dr Bruce Perry. Trigger warning for this book – it does contain harrowing …
Examples of Triggers
Remember that triggers are NORMAL. It is about learning to recognise your personal triggers and work with them. This list is a great starting place for you to think about your triggers. If you’d like to, try the exercise below. …
Understanding Triggers
Imagine if your father was a large man and a violent drunk. It might be that whenever you see a man in the street with a similar figure and gait, your body freezes, and you start to panic. A trigger …
Signs of Healing
When I began my healing journey, I was experiencing deep inner conflict. I had immigrated to a new country and had few support people in my new home. Most of my friends and family were literally on the other side …
Healing as a Scapegoat
Healing is best done with a therapist because a therapist will be able to help you unpack what happened at home and gently start to step into a new perspective. You are likely to have a lot of questions about …
Experiences of a Scapegoat
A friend of mine was labelled the scapegoat in her family. She was repeatedly told that she was too volatile and ‘crazy.’ She was a scapegoat for everything, including things that had absolutely nothing to do with her. It took …
Black Sheep: The Scapegoat
With the presence of a designated scapegoat, there may be a lot of hidden dysfunction. It can be much easier to hide an abusive marriage with the presence of a child who has problems and is constantly misbehaving, etc. No …
Black Sheep of The Family
If you were labeled the black sheep in your family, know this is only one potential dynamic that might have been playing out in your family. Every family is unique, with unique dynamics. Being the black sheep can be a …
Identifying Triangulation
Have you ever found yourself in a toxic triad? I know I have. Some triangles are healthy and helpful, for example, when work colleagues struggling with a piece of work approach their boss for some help, or when two quarreling …