This post is for everyone wanting to experience more co-regulation in your life. Although I’ve given an example involving a child, the same principles apply to adults when their emotional brain takes over, and their left brain shuts down. Have …
Category: Relationships
Reconnecting with your Feelings for the Avoidantly Attached
When you have the avoidant adaptation, you likely grew up in an environment where it was not okay to have needs or your needs were denied, so you shut them down. As an adult, you may judge yourself as weak …
Reconnecting with your Needs for the Avoidantly Attached
For the avoidant adaptation, reconnecting with your needs, body, and emotions is part of your healing journey. There are many ways to begin to reconnect to the body. Two of the most potent ways I use with my clients are …
The Healing Journey
As we heal, we grow. We connect with a more profound sense of self. We begin to feel more embodied and happier. We make healthier choices and have healthier boundaries. This gives us more capacity than before to have greater …
The Dance of the Anxious and Avoidant in Conflict
Let me know in the comments if you have ever experienced this dynamic Love, Jen
The Dance of the Anxious and Avoidant in Conflict
This is the pursuer/withdrawer dynamic identified by Dr Sue Johnson in her brilliant book “Hold Me Tight”. It is the dance of the anxious (pursuer) and the avoidant (withdrawer). I know this dance well because it is one my husband …
Protest Behaviours
This kind of clear communication builds the solid foundation of a lasting, secure relationship. If you had unhealthy relationship behaviours modeled for you as a child, it might take a while for you to shift into healthy ones, but it …
Do You Feel Shamed as a Cycle Breaker?
There are many subtle ways the cycle breaker is shamed in the family; I hope the list above is helpful in spotting some of the behaviours. A big thank you to my Instagram community for adding to this list. …
Sharing Your Needs
Once we know what we need, how do we communicate? Many of us have learned that our needs are not important and, in some cases, that the needs of the parent are bigger and more important than our needs. So, …