This video is in response to a lot of questions I get about recognising securely attached people. First, it IS challenging to recognise secure people when you have grown up in chaos. There is no template for what secure and …
Category: Psychotherapy
The Legacy of a Grandmother
Energy flows through lineages. The good, the bad and the ugly. It is passed down through our nervous systems, DNA and behaviours our parents learnt, and their parents learnt. How old are the scripts that I was raised with? They …
When you block your feelings as a child, to keep yourself safe, you might grow up not knowing who you are
In some environments, children have to block their feelings. Imagine being terrorised in your home, being with someone, a mother, father, sibling, who enjoys seeing fear in you. In these circumstances, it is an act of self-preservation to block your …
Attachment Wounds CAN Come From Adult Relationships
Attachment wounds don’t only come from your childhood, they can also be formed in adulthood. Remember that attachment wounds are relational wounds. This means that they happened in a relationship with another person. When we are hurt deeply enough for …
Male and Female Archetypes
What do you think about this idea of your mother as being the first archetypal woman and your father, the first archetypal man in your life? It makes sense that we would organise our expectations around these roles and archetypes …
Are You Stuck in Pattern Repeat?
When we are growing up, we get used to the relational distance between us and our caregivers. We chose a distance that feels safe. We do whatever we need to do to maintain the ‘safe distance’, close enough where I …
Core Wounds
Most of us have what I think of as a ‘core wound’. It might be a belief that I’m never going to be good enough, or that I’m flawed in some way or will always be alone. It is a …
3 Steps For Self-Exploration When Anxious
From my years of working on myself and with my clients, I have come to understand feelings as messengers. I often see them as little children, desperately wanting and needing something from me—the bigger the feeling, the stronger the message. …
Our Need to Stay Connected
We need connection. There is no more potent time in our lives that we need connection than in our childhood. We need connection as children to survive. Without connection, we die. It is that simple. To stay connected as children, …
The Need For Connection Is The Need to Survive In A Amall Child
As small children, we have to stay connected to our carers to stay alive. Without them, we die. It’s simple. This is why they say ‘we are wired for connection’, we are. When we grow up with caregivers who are …