Once we know what we need, how do we communicate? Many of us have learned that our needs are not important and, in some cases, that the needs of the parent are bigger and more important than our needs. So, …
Tag: Relationships
Valuing Your Needs
Think about hunger. We need this physical impulse to tell us when and how much to eat. If this impulse is denied and pushed down, again and again, there is a resulting imbalance and self-denial at the most primal level. …
Feeling Isolated as a Cycle Breaker
Many families have someone who breaks the cycle, know that you are not alone. If you would like some help breaking unhealthy cycles and shifting attachment styles, you will LOVE my 6-week course – Relationship Cycle Breakers. New intake starts …
Indications Of Healing In My Relationships
Ram Dass (@babaramdass) says that relationships are one of the most challenging forms of yoga. When he says this, he is talking about the way you meet in an intimate relationship. You will see all of the parts of self …
Signs of a Secure Healthy Relationship
I have been asked a lot recently, what does a healthy relationship look like? What are the people who have secure relationships doing? They have learnt, over time, how to balance the ‘we’ and the ‘me’, to repair the inevitable …
Relational Dynamics Between Anxious And Securely Attached People
Being in a relationship with an anxiously attached person can feel suffocating. Small things might trigger them. Like not returning a call until after work, which is interpreted as not being committed. After a while, this all becomes a …
Dynamics between avoidant and anxiously attached
I’ve had a lot of requests for more details about the avoidant/anxious dynamic. I hope this gives a bit more insight. If you think of every adult as having a child-like part and an adult-like part, certain combinations are …
Supporting a partner with Disorganised Attachment Style
Children are wired for survival. To survive, they will adapt to their environment to get their needs for food, love, and security met. In children who show disorganised attachment, the primary caregiver has been erratic, unpredictable and sometimes abusive and …
Tips for Disorganised Attachment Style
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver due to inconsistent behaviour from the parent. Sometimes the parent is a safe and supportive …
Supporting an Avoidanlty Attached Partner
Avoidantly attached people often have a well-developed ‘inner adult’. They are stable, secure and seem to have it all worked out. This can be very attractive for people who have a well developed ‘inner child’. They feel safe with this …