In every distressed relationship, there are patterns—sequences of behavior that continuously feed the conflict and distance between partners. Identifying these cycles is the crucial first step in therapy. When we recognize these patterns as they occur, we open the door …
Tag: Relationships
Breaking the Cycle: How Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy Creates a Fresh Start
In every distressed relationship, there are patterns—sequences of behavior that continuously feed the conflict and distance between partners. Identifying these cycles is the crucial first step in therapy. When we recognize these patterns as they occur, we open the door …
Conflict Doesn’t Have to Mean Crisis
Secure couples know how to repair and come back. They don’t get it right all the time, but they keep working on it and learning about themselves and each other through the process. Be gentle with each other. Love, Jen
The Three Steps to Communicating a Need
Communicating your needs is part of secure attachment. If you want to hear more about this 🎧 listen to the full episode to explore what secure attachment looks, feels, and sounds like—and why it matters. YouTube: Spotify: Love, Jen
Aiming for Secure Attachment
If you didn’t grow up with secure attachment, it can feel like chasing something that you don’t have a clear idea of. So, let’s make it real. This is the felt sense of secure attachment. It’s calm. It’s steady. And …
What Secure Attachment Feels Like
In a secure relationship, your nervous system’s resting place is in the ventral vagal state—a branch of the parasympathetic nervous system associated with social engagement, safety, and calmness. The goal isn’t to stay in this state all the time. It’s …
Book Review
So lovely to receive messages like this from people who have been impacted by the book. Thank you for taking the time to share with me Leigh. Love, Jen
Most Relationship Conflict Is Really About Differing Values
Ever notice how you keep having the same argument with your partner? Different situation, same theme—on repeat. Let’s take a classic example: money.Maybe you’re the saver and your partner’s the spender. When they make a big purchase, you feel frustrated—maybe …
Repairing Attachment Injuries in Close Relationships_Dr Clare Rosoman
I just loved this conversation with Clare about her incredible new book. I’ve personally had the most amazing experience in EFT couple therapy with my husband of 19 years. In this episode, I talk about an attachment injury that we …
Deep Emotional Needs of the Avoidantly Attached
On the surface, avoidant behaviour can look like disinterest, withdrawal, or emotional distance.But underneath… it’s often a different story. Avoidantly attached people do have deep emotional needs—just like everyone else.They’ve just learned, often very early in life, that expressing those …