Let’s expand the definition of trauma. Historically, we think of trauma as big events that caused stress and shock and impacted your old view of yourself and the world. This is big ‘T’ trauma. It has become more apparent that …
Tag: Relationships
Unhealed Trauma
There can be trauma through what was DONE to you, being hit, shouted at, called names when growing up. And then there is trauma through omission, things that you should have experienced that you didn’t. It’s easy to look back …
Conflict as an Opportunity
The curiosity here is around reactivity, and when fight, flight or freeze might take over for either of you in the relationship. This is a conversation that needs to happen when you are NOT in the middle of an argument. …
Knowing How To Pause During a Conflict
Storming out during an argument is not a great way to take a break. Maybe you return to the argument, but more often than not there is still tension in the air. Maybe you become passive-aggressive with one another and …
Relational Conflict
Have you ever wondered why you end up fighting your partner over and over again about the same thing, a different situation, but the same topic? Let’s take a typical example, money. It might be that in your relationship, you …
Working with Gratitude
Gratitude has the power to change your day completely! I had an experience a while back where I was feeling quite overwhelmed. I went for a walk in the bush and found that although I was in nature, my mind …
Personality According to Birth Order
Have you ever wondered how your siblings can be so utterly different to you? One reason can be birth order and different children in the family using different strategies to get attention and love from your parents. Psychologist Walter Toman …
When We Are Driven By Obligation Not Values
If you value your relationship with your mother and she wants you to call daily, but you find it exhausting, what do you do? I like to look under the request to explore what is REALLY there. What is it …
Practicing Radical Acceptance
Acceptance and compassion form one of the modules in my course ‘‘Relationship Cycle Breaker’. In it, you will work through exactly HOW to move into more self-compassion and acceptance using research-based methods. Hopefully, I will meet you there. …