Self-soothing is one of the most important life skills we can learn. So many of us did not learn this vital skill from our parents. They were distracted, absent, or unable to soothe their child because they couldn’t soothe themselves. …
Tag: Relationships
Prince Harry, A Cycle Breaker
I recently read Prince Harry’s book, ‘Spare’. What I loved about this book was the obvious intergenerational healing that is taking place by Harry being a cycle breaker. Now, I know many of you will have big opinions about this, …
Unsolvable Relationship Conflicts
According to the Gottman’s (excellent relationship researchers), 69% of relationship conflict is unsolvable. These are perpetual problems that stem from fundamental differences in beliefs or personality. They will be something that you return to as a couple repeatedly and often …
The Importance of Co-Regulation
When a nervous system with little co-regulation starts to receive co-regulation as an adult, that nervous system will learn to regulate itself. This is where we reach the limits of individual personal development work. At this stage, we need to …
Emotional Awareness Supports Our Relationships
Is this easy? Hell no, as Brene would say. It goes against our wiring, especially if we have a trauma history; the impulse to get away can be overpowering. The power is ‘in the pause’. When we can pause and …
A Tip For Arguments
When we build up resentments in a relationship it is common that they will come pouring out in the midst of an argument. You start with a complaint about how they leave their clothes on the floor, they become defensive, …
Tips for Connecting at Dinner Time
I grew up eating my dinner with a tray on my lap in front of the TV watching Neighbours (an Aussie TV show that we LOVED in the UK with Kylie Minogue in it). We were together as a family, …
Growing Trust in Your Relationships
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is difficult to be truly vulnerable with someone you don’t trust. Trust isn’t built overnight; it takes time. In a relationship, many small moments added together become the building blocks of trust. …