To be a cycle breaker there has to be a certain kind of waking up to the dysfunctional family patterns. This usually happens over a period of time, but it can also happen overnight, leaving you feeling completely disoriented and …
Tag: inner child
Consequences of Unmet Childhood Needs
Our core childhood needs are: Attachment Freedom to be yourself and to have your emotions and needs validated Appropriate limits so you learn self-control Independence, competence and self-identity Play When triggered by one of these needs not being met, you …
Understanding Needs in Relationships
Attempting to get all our needs met through one person is often a subconscious pattern. We all have the need to be loved, and accepted, for play, for trust and connection. Some of these needs can only be met interpersonally, …
What is Self-Acceptance?
Self-acceptance is a deep awareness of your strengths and weaknesses and a feeling of satisfaction despite past behaviours, choices and areas where you feel you are lacking. It is about embracing ALL parts of self and accepting self unconditionally.When we …
What is Reparenting?
When we have experienced neglect, abuse, invalidation, narcissism, conflict or violence as children, as adults, there is still part of us that is expecting the same behaviour from those we love. We learn that love looks and feels like conflict, …
Creativity and the Inner Child
This painting is Claude Monet’s ‘The Artist’s Garden at Vetheuil’. It happened to be hanging in a place we stayed in a few years ago, and I spent a good hour lying on the sofa, drinking chai tea and thinking …
Using the Inner Child to work with Emotions
I like to think of emotions as messengers. They are there to tell me that something is not right. There are LOTS of ways to work with emotions in psychotherapy. One way to do it is with the transactional analysis …
The Importance Of Joy
Having fun might sound simple, but for so many of us, the ability to relax and have fun was drilled out of us in childhood. If you grew up in an environment where you were in constant fight or flight, …
The Art Of Self-Care
When discussing self-care with my clients, I like to start with the basics. Are you getting enough sleep? How much is enough sleep? Everyone is different, but I believe there is a minimum requirement for most people. A few years …
Self- Discipline
Wherever it was, know that your parents only did what they were taught or could manage at the time. Know that it is not your fault if you struggle with self-discipline. How are you supposed to know if you weren’t …