What I see, again and again in therapy, is that deep pain doesn’t leave all at once. It softens in layers. You return to it, but each time from a different place. A different level of the spiral. One session …
Tag: cptsd
Why You Don’t Act Your Age When Trauma Gets Triggered
“When trauma gets triggered you don’t act your age, you act the age the wound was created.” — Gabor Maté When a trauma wound is activated, your system does not respond from your present-day self. It responds from the age …
Healing From Trauma: Choosing Yourself After Learning to Tolerate Poor Treatment
Trauma can leave you believing you have to tolerate poor treatment because losing someone feels more dangerous than staying. Healing is the slow, steady realisation that your wellbeing matters too. You begin to see that the real loss is abandoning …
How Your Brain Rewires Old Wounds: The Science of Memory Reconsolidation
One of the most incredible things about the brain is that it has the ability to update old emotional learning. This process is called memory reconsolidation, and it’s one of the key ways therapy creates deep, lasting change. Here’s How …
Is Your Yes Really a Yes? How Your Nervous System Shapes Your Decisions
So often we think our yes or no comes from logic… but most of the time, it’s coming from your nervous system. You can have a “yes” that comes from sympathetic activation — a fight-or-flight surge — or a “yes” …
Sometimes Walking Away Is How You Choose Yourself
Sometimes walking away is the moment you choose yourself. It’s the moment you decide, deep in your body, “This is the last time I will be treated like this, by anyone.” That clarity doesn’t come from anger. It comes from …
Why Extreme Behaviours Are Often Survival Strategies
Sometimes what we see on the surface looks chaotic, destructive, or hard to understand. But when you are caught in extreme coping behaviours — severe eating disorders, compulsive sexual behaviour, or addiction — what’s underneath is almost always pain that …
Your Relationship Problems Aren’t What You Think They Are
You think you’re fighting about how late they came home. Or that they never put their phone down when you’re talking. Or that you’re always the one planning everything while they coast. But those aren’t the real problems. They’re signals …
You Don’t Have to Hold It All Anymore
If you grew up with unstable parents, it is common to have a part of you that was busy trying to stabilise them. That might have meant watching out for them drinking too much or trying to be happy to …