The risk is the reenactment of the original wounds that created your attachment style in the first place. The opportunity here is for deep healing for both of you. Wherever you are on the spectrum, if you are serious about …
Tag: attachment theory
7 Questions for the Avoidantly Attached
If you are avoidant and ready to challenge yourself – here are the questions to ask. Remember that for avoidant people, you have learned NOT to reach out for support. Nobody has been there to hold you in the way …
5 Tips for the Avoidantly Attached
Feel free to share this with anyone you know who is working with the avoidant style. If you are working with avoidant attachment, your keyword is CONNECTION. Some questions to ponder, especially during tricky times: How do I hold myself …
Steps Forward in the Anxious/Avoidant Dynamic
We are always learning each other in relationship. We learn about our partner’s history, preferences, triggers and attachment style. And, of course, we are constantly learning about ourselves. Remember that all of the attachment styles exist on a spectrum. That …
Healing Your Anxious Attachment
Dealing with the anxious/avoidant dynamic takes many couples to therapy to work on the push-and-pull dance, with one chasing and the other retreating. Both become emotionally charged, each sticking to their tendencies—intensifying emotions, questioning, and actively participating (anxious), or pulling …
5 Ways to Increase Intimacy with Your Avoidantly Attached Partner
The key with the avoidantly attached is to remember that when they pull back, they are often just as upset as you. It is their coping mechanism that pulls them into solitude to self-soothe. This is how they did it …
Understanding your Avoidantly Attached Partner
This is something I have learned from the inside, having been in a relationship with someone avoidant for over 22 years (married for 18). Attachment and intimacy are complex. We receive many imprints about relationships from our childhood. Often, the …
How Does it Feel to Have INNER Secure Attachment?
How does it feel to have INNER secure attachment? When you have INNER secure attachment: Sounds like something we all want! But how do you cultivate INNER secure attachment? I lay out some of the ways in tomorrow’s post and …
Healing Anxious Attachment
Whenever I speak to someone who has ‘earned secure attachment’ and ask how they did it, they say, “It was a combination of things”. That was my experience, too. It wasn’t just one thing. You can’t change your attachment style …