I’ve had a lot of requests for more details about the avoidant/anxious dynamic. I hope this gives a bit more insight. If you think of every adult as having a child-like part and an adult-like part, certain combinations are …
Supporting a partner with Disorganised Attachment Style
Children are wired for survival. To survive, they will adapt to their environment to get their needs for food, love, and security met. In children who show disorganised attachment, the primary caregiver has been erratic, unpredictable and sometimes abusive and …
Where Is Your Energy Going?
At some point, many of us will find ourselves contemplating what is meaningful. What is life about for me? My time here is limited, so what would a meaningful life look like for me? Here are some things to ponder …
Tips for Disorganised Attachment Style
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver due to inconsistent behaviour from the parent. Sometimes the parent is a safe and supportive …
Supporting an Avoidanlty Attached Partner
Avoidantly attached people often have a well-developed ‘inner adult’. They are stable, secure and seem to have it all worked out. This can be very attractive for people who have a well developed ‘inner child’. They feel safe with this …
Tips for Avoidant Attachment Style
The avoidant attachment style grows in children due to a caregiver (often the mother) who is emotionally unavailable and non-attuned to the child’s needs. Over time they suppress their natural desire to be comforted even when they are ill. These …
The Purpose of Self Criticism
The antidote to self-criticism is self-compassion. We can learn self-compassion. The outstanding researcher Dr Kristin Neff @neffselfcompassion has broken down self-compassion and has a suite of excellent tools to help increase our self-compassion quota. Compassion and Acceptance is also Module …
Understanding an Anxiously Attached Partner
Remember that for the anxiously attached person, SAFETY is critical. So, things like checking out other men in his presence will make him feel unsafe and act out. They are also prone to jealousy because of a deep feeling of …
Healing Anxious Attachment
When your abandonment wound is triggered, it will take great courage and strength to change your automatic behaviour to go into fear and worst-case scenario, but it CAN be done, over time, with love and practice. You can learn to …
Foundation for Disorganised Attachment
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver (often the mother). They seem disoriented and confused. This is likely the result of erratic …