When we are growing up, we get used to the relational distance between us and our caregivers. We chose a distance that feels safe. We do whatever we need to do to maintain the ‘safe distance’, close enough where I …
Category: Relationships
Our Need to Stay Connected
We need connection. There is no more potent time in our lives that we need connection than in our childhood. We need connection as children to survive. Without connection, we die. It is that simple. To stay connected as children, …
The Need For Connection Is The Need to Survive In A Amall Child
As small children, we have to stay connected to our carers to stay alive. Without them, we die. It’s simple. This is why they say ‘we are wired for connection’, we are. When we grow up with caregivers who are …
Anxious Attachment and the Danger of People Pleasing
The fear of being abandoned can feel worse than the fear of death. Just the thought of that person leaving you might make you feel like you will throw up, that you will never want to engage with the world …
Being Overly Sensitive to Your Partner’s Moods.
If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you would have learned to watch for any little thing that might set them off. You learn to do things perfectly to avoid being shouted at or punished. You learn to …
4 Ways That Fear Blocks Connection
Part of what makes therapy so remarkable is that we are heard in a non-judgemental, curious way. There is no criticism, no loaded questions, none of the baggage that is present in an intimate relationship. The power of …
10 Research-Based Questions To Help You Know If Your Relationship Has A Future.
According to Psychologist Gary W. Lewandowski’s research, going through these questions and answering ‘yes’ or ‘no’ will give you some insight into the potential longevity of your relationship. The more questions you answer ‘yes’ to, the more likely it is …
10 Things To Say Instead Of Ghosting Someone
Ghosting hurts. A poll on this Instagram account into how ghosting made people feel came up with a myriad of reasons, with the most common being ‘confused’. Ghosting leaves the person being ghosted with a lack of clarity and in …
10 Questions To Ask Yourself After Being Ghosted
Here we can swap the word ‘ghosted’ for ‘triggered’. It is natural to feel triggered when you have been ghosted. Most people who are ghosted report feeling left with a lack of closure. They have gone, and we are left …
Why Does Ghosting Hurt?
Ghosting hurts because you have an emotional investment in the relationship, full stop. It might be a complete shock to realise that your partner doesn’t have the same emotional investment. Interestingly, for most of you on yesterday’s story that asked …