I have been asked a lot recently, what does a healthy relationship look like? What are the people who have secure relationships doing? They have learnt, over time, how to balance the ‘we’ and the ‘me’, to repair the inevitable …
Tag: Relationships
The Dance of The Avoidant and The Securely Attached
Something I haven’t seen talked about anywhere else is the phenomenon where an avoidant will create an anxious attachment out of a normally securely attached person. Can this happen? Yes! I know because I have had this experience myself. I …
How to Build Trust
Trust is built in the small moments. We learn over time if the person we are with is trustworthy so when we face big things as a couple, there is a foundation of trust. We know our partner will tell …
11 Signs you are Growing Apart
Relationships take work. They need to be fed and nurtured in order to remain satisfying for both parties. Often the process of drifting apart is gradual. When we find ourselves growing apart, we need to decide if we are going …
How to Take a Break During an Argument
Storming out during an argument is not a great way to take a break. Maybe you return to the argument, but more often than not there is still tension in the air, maybe you become passive-aggressive with one another and …
When To Take A Break During A Difficult Conversation:
According to the Gottman’s, 69% of relationship arguments are unsolvable, so it no surprise that they can cause so much frustration. Have you ever been in a situation where you are both feeling unheard, misunderstood and you are both starting …
Communicating Needs Without Losing it.
When we ask for something, we risk being and feeling rejected. We are vulnerable. To cover that vulnerability, many of us will use anger or force. How can I ask for what I need and hold onto the part of …
Most Relationship Conflict Is Really About Differing Values:
Have you ever wondered why you end up fighting your partner over and over again about the same thing, a different situation, but the same topic? Let’s take a typical example, money. It might be that in your relationship, you …
Humans are Wired For Connection
Have you ever felt the desire to connect, but felt sabotaged by another part of yourself that wants to protect? Both are compulsions. To desire to connect is human. We are wired for connection. When we have experienced trauma, we …
Research Proves Benefits Of Gratitude
The word gratitude comes from the Latin gratia, meaning grace or gratefulness. Its root is linked to kindness, beauty and giving (Emmons & Shelton, 2002). We can express gratitude towards others or something greater than self (like nature or Source) …