Your attachment style influences all of your intimate relationships. Knowing if you are secure or insecure in your attachment can help you to understand some of your behaviour when you are in relationships. Know that your attachment style CAN be …
Tag: Relationships
What Does Abandoning Yourself in an Argument Look Like
Sometimes, we only find out that we should have stood our ground more firmly AFTER the fact. It isn’t until we are sat at the work lunch, with a pounding head, having to make polite conversation, that it is obvious …
Can Conflict Become A Way For a Couple To Connect?
Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …
Is It Normal To Feel Anxious If I haven’t Heard From Them?
I just want to let you know that if you haven’t heard from him in 4 days, you are right to feel anxious! That’s a long time. Securely attached people will also find that odd. Even at the beginning of …
You Don’t Have To Feel Broken To See A Therapist.
Working with a therapist and going through a process of self-exploration and change is one of the most empowering experiences we can have. Most people have never been held in a safe, supporting, non-bias space where they can be truly …
How Having to Be Right Damages your Relationship and What to Do About it.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who has to be right all the time? It can be so frustrating. Even when there is evidence that they are wrong, they won’t openly say, “oh, I was wrong”, they …
How to Reconnect After an Argument
We all know that uncomfortable few minutes after a heated discussion. The argument’s energy is hanging in the air, and you are both processing what was said. If your trauma response has been activated, you might be calming your nervous …
69% of Relationship Problems are Unsolvable
According to the Gottman’s (excellent relationship researchers), 69% of relationship conflict is unsolvable. These are perpetual problems that stem from fundamental differences in beliefs or personality. They will be something that you return to as a couple repeatedly and often …
Why Co-Regulation is Important
Co-regulation is where one nervous system calms another. It happens when you have a caregiver who is attuned to you as a child. They can use their body, the tone and pitch of their voice, and their breath to anchor …
Relationship Rituals to Help with Connection
Relationship rituals help with co-regulation. When you are in an intimate relationship with someone, your nervous systems will attune with one another, either creating co-regulation or dysregulation. When connection is strong in the relationship, if one person is dysregulated, the …