Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical harm or threats, doors slamming, and shouting.
When this is how we learnt to do conflict, this is often what we repeat as adults. Maybe to a lesser degree, but we still find ourselves flooded and dysregulated.
How would it be to flip this on its head completely? What if conflict could become a powerful avenue for your healing as a couple? What if you would take these moments to really hear each other, take the time to understand the pain that is coming up and be in that pain with each other? Without having to fix it or pretend it’s not there. If you could just hold space and be together with the pain?