We self-abandon when we: Let go of our boundary because they don't like it. Concede in an argument because we feel them pulling away. Have s-x, but our body doesn’t feel like it, to keep them with us. Don't listen to our intuition because what it tells us might leave us single. Seek validation from them, rather than giving it to ourselves. Give up interests or friendships to keep the other person happy. Criticise ourselves for feeling needy. Consistently focus on the other person’s needs above our own.