A holistic approach to trauma defines attachment injury/wounding not as an event or a challenged relationship, but rather as a disruption and overwhelm to our body-mind’s capacity to feel safe, secure, cared for, and consistently connected with. Attachment trauma may …
Tag: Relationships
Family Secrets
Did you have to hold a secret for an adult in your family or keep a secret from the rest of your family? Keeping secrets in families, especially across generations can be harmful for the family and the holder of …
Relational Trauma Requires Relational Healing
We can learn to self-regulate as adults, but this is only part of the process. The other part is the healing that happens in a two-person system – relationally. Relational trauma requires relational healing. The wounds of childhood trauma are …
What’s YOUR Value for 2022?
Rather than having a list of New Year’s resolutions, many of my clients find it helpful to align with a core value for the year ahead. You might think of this chosen value as a guiding light for the year, …
10 Ways the Fawn Response Shows Up in Relationships
The fawn response is a trauma response. It is a protective reaction to an unsafe situation, usually in our childhood. As adults, the fawn response shows up in relationships in different ways: I’ll say anything to keep the peace. I …
Trauma and Staying Connected
When we have experienced trauma, there might be an impulse to push people away, to feel shame around the trauma. To feel as though “I should be stronger than this”, or “why is this still affecting me? What is wrong …
Mixed Feelings
It is normal to have mixed feelings about people we are in a relationship with. When we are in black and white thinking, it might be challenging to accept that we have different feelings about the same person. When we …
The 4 Step Apology
When we need to apologise, practising alone and saying the words out loud can be SUPER helpful. We can get clear about what we are apologising for, what happened for us and how we plan to resolve it. This can …
Cycle Breakers Are Often The Black Sheep of The Family
Cycle breakers are often the black sheep of the family because they choose to focus on breaking toxic patterns internally and externally. It can be lonely, know that you are not alone and it IS worth it. You are busy …
When You Are Overly Sensitive To Your Partner’s Moods
If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you would have learned to watch for any little thing that might set them off. You learn to do things perfectly to avoid being shouted at or punished. You learn to …