Wow – the power of consistency with an anxiously attached person. It is like drinking a cool glass of water on a hot day – soothing, grounding, nourishing from the inside. The balance here is asking for the consistency that …
Tag: Relationships
Abandonment To Self-Abandonment
We might call this people-pleasing, but for me, this is deeper. This happens in the small but powerful moments when we: Concede in an argument because we feel them pulling away. Have sex, but our body doesn’t feel like it, …
Seeking Others to Regulate Us.
The opportunity here is to give the younger self the soothing she so desperately wanted and deserved. I have been doing Inner Child and ‘parts’ work for over 17 years with myself and others and found it to be one …
Abandonment Fear Part 2
In this live session, I cover:????Exactly what abandonment fear is????Where it comes from????How it related to Anxious Attachment????How to approach this fear in ourselves????How it pushes us to attach too quickly????Why we attract unavailable partners????What to look for in relationships????What …
When we Have Experienced Abandonment as a Child, We Might be Quick to Attach
I invite you to notice this desire to attach too quickly with compassion. Talk to the younger part of you who craves love, affection and attention. She is calling you through time and space to attend to her. Remember that …
Abandonment Fear Often Comes From Different Types of Childhood Loss
It is possible to work on our abandonment fear. Some powerful tools I have experienced are EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, and inner child work. These are all elements of evidence-based trauma therapy. When we expand the definition of trauma to include …
12 Signs You Have a Mother Wound
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger, and grief about the mother relationship, trying to understand what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about how …
Attachment Trauma Can Occur
A holistic approach to trauma defines attachment injury/wounding not as an event or a challenged relationship, but rather as a disruption and overwhelm to our body-mind’s capacity to feel safe, secure, cared for, and consistently connected with. Attachment trauma may …
Family Secrets
Did you have to hold a secret for an adult in your family or keep a secret from the rest of your family? Keeping secrets in families, especially across generations can be harmful for the family and the holder of …
Relational Trauma Requires Relational Healing
We can learn to self-regulate as adults, but this is only part of the process. The other part is the healing that happens in a two-person system – relationally. Relational trauma requires relational healing. The wounds of childhood trauma are …