We can learn to self-regulate as adults, but this is only part of the process. The other part is the healing that happens in a two-person system – relationally. Relational trauma requires relational healing.
The wounds of childhood trauma are relational wounds. They happened in the moments of neglect, abuse, self-centredness and carelessness. This kind of trauma can create a distrust of all people, as you have learnt that people are not to be trusted. They are not safe.
As we use psychotherapeutic skills to increase our self-regulation, we are working alone to change the childhood patterns that manifest in our adult life. This is PART of the work.
In a two-person system, there are two bodies and two nervous systems; two complete systems interact. With an attuned therapist, it is possible to heal relational trauma.
Let me know if you have had this experience
Discover more from Jennifer Nurick
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.