Feel free to share this with anyone you know who is working with the avoidant style. If you are working with avoidant attachment, your keyword is CONNECTION. Some questions to ponder, especially during tricky times: How do I hold myself …
Tag: Relationships
Steps Forward in the Anxious/Avoidant Dynamic
We are always learning each other in relationship. We learn about our partner’s history, preferences, triggers and attachment style. And, of course, we are constantly learning about ourselves. Remember that all of the attachment styles exist on a spectrum. That …
Healing Your Anxious Attachment
Dealing with the anxious/avoidant dynamic takes many couples to therapy to work on the push-and-pull dance, with one chasing and the other retreating. Both become emotionally charged, each sticking to their tendencies—intensifying emotions, questioning, and actively participating (anxious), or pulling …
5 Ways to Increase Intimacy with Your Avoidantly Attached Partner
The key with the avoidantly attached is to remember that when they pull back, they are often just as upset as you. It is their coping mechanism that pulls them into solitude to self-soothe. This is how they did it …
Understanding your Avoidantly Attached Partner
This is something I have learned from the inside, having been in a relationship with someone avoidant for over 22 years (married for 18). Attachment and intimacy are complex. We receive many imprints about relationships from our childhood. Often, the …
Group Book Review
I have just finished reading ‘Group’ by Christie Tate. It was an incredible, heartfelt, vulnerable and gutwrenching journey she took me on—the journey of healing and learning to form a secure attachment supported by a group. For most people, the …
Healing Anxious Attachment
Whenever I speak to someone who has ‘earned secure attachment’ and ask how they did it, they say, “It was a combination of things”. That was my experience, too. It wasn’t just one thing. You can’t change your attachment style …
Benefits of Being Assertive
Here’s a note about assertiveness and why it’s often the best course of action, even though it might feel scary. Assertiveness is when we have strong self-esteem and maintain healthy boundaries. Assertive communication is direct and clear and makes space …
You Don’t Need Validation
Differentiating from your family of origin is a journey. When you come from a family with strong traditions and family norms, differentiating can be difficult, and there can be strong backlash. Backlash can sound like threatening to cut you out …