Our core childhood needs are: Attachment Freedom to be yourself, and to have your emotions and needs validated Appropriate limits so you learn self-control Independence, competence and self-identity Play When triggered by one of these needs not being met, you …
Tag: Relationships
Dark Night of the Soul
Fifteen years ago today, I married my best friend. It was, hands down, the hardest thing I have ever done. We came from different socioeconomic backgrounds, different cultures, different countries, but hardest of all, we came from different religions. We …
What You Need to Know About Needs and Relationships
Attempting to get all our needs met through one person is often a subconscious pattern. We all have the need to be loved, accepted, for play, for trust and connection. Some of these needs can only be met interpersonally, in …
How YOU Can Help Your Therapist
Being in therapy is about forming a relationship based on trust and honesty. The relationship is a safe space for you to practice being vulnerable, honest and open. If you know there is something big you want to share, but …
Affirmations to Help You Heal After a Breakup
Going through a breakup can be one of the most difficult and painful times. There can be such an overwhelming feeling of disappointment, going over moments and scenes in your head, wondering if you could / should have been different. …
The Benefits of Practicing Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand how others are feeling and show compassion towards them. It is the ability to imagine what someone else’s life is like, to stand in their shoes and feel what they feel, from their point …
Why Is Emotional Intell (EQ) So Important?
IQ counts for a lot, but research shows that people with a high IQ are NOT the most fulfilled or the most successful. Maybe you know people who are really smart, but struggle socially and in intimate relationships? IQ will …
Central To EQ Are The Abilities To…
The ability to perceive emotions is something we learn in childhood. When my son was about 9, he went through a phase of about two months where he would regularly ask me if I was feeling angry. He would say: …
The Key Factor in Determining Marriage Satisfaction
John & Julie Gottman are two of the leading researchers in the field of relationships and marriage. They created a ‘Love Lab’, a fabricated apartment with a beautiful view and cameras to study couples who stayed overnight, as part of …
How to Understand Someone Else’s Point of View
When we take on the perspective of someone else, a whole network of brain regions become activated. The dorsomedial and dorsolateral prefrontal cortices, the temporoparietal junction and precuneus. These areas are responsible for memory, attention, social cognition, integration and mental …