Here’s a note about assertiveness and why it’s often the best course of action, even though it might feel scary.
Assertiveness is when we have strong self-esteem and maintain healthy boundaries. Assertive communication is direct and clear and makes space for the other person.
When we are assertive, we tend to experience less anxiety and depression because we can stand in our truth whilst attempting to understand how the other person feels about what is being discussed.
Assertiveness brings with it a greater sense of agency. We tend to feel less anxious and less depressed, and we have improved self-esteem and relationships.
Why we avoid being assertive:
- thinking you will be judged or rejected
- assuming the other person will be upset
- not knowing what you want
- doubting the validity of your needs
- deep down, feeling unworthy
- feeling like making a stand will be a waste of time
- avoiding potentially uncomfortable situations and conflict
- lacking the skill
When faced with all the reasons we avoid being assertive, it is helpful to remember the potential benefits.
I have a chapter on this in my upcoming book ‘Heal Your Anxious Attachment’ which you can pre-order now.
Adapted from: Psychology Today