Steps Forward in the Anxious/Avoidant Dynamic

We are always learning each other in relationship. We learn about our partner’s history, preferences, triggers and attachment style. 

And, of course, we are constantly learning about ourselves. 

Remember that all of the attachment styles exist on a spectrum. That means some people will be more avoidant than others. 

I like to think of avoidance as enjoying a lot of distance in a relationship. This will suit some people more than others. If you have an anxious tendency, you will likely enjoy more proximity than most, so being with someone with an avoidant tendency will trigger your anxious attachment. 

The challenge is for the avoidant person to make small movements towards connection in challenging moments. 

The challenge for the partner of the avoidant is to be realistic. Am I in love with their potential, or what is?