Dealing with the anxious/avoidant dynamic takes many couples to therapy to work on the push-and-pull dance, with one chasing and the other retreating.
Both become emotionally charged, each sticking to their tendencies—intensifying emotions, questioning, and actively participating (anxious), or pulling back, becoming aloof, and dismissing (avoidant).
This dance is called the negative cycle and is something that I discuss in depth in Chapter 7 of my upcoming book ‘Heal Your Anxious Attachment’ (available for pre-order through the link in my bio and most major bookstores). In the meantime, if you would like to learn about your negative cycle, I have a free gift for you.
In it, you will learn:
- To recognise your negative cycle when it is in action
- How your actions create reactions in your partner
- What your attachment needs are in the relationship
- What your partner’s attachment needs are
- What core emotions are sitting under your expressed emotions
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